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THE QUESTION
My manager responds to every e-mail with a phone call. Even if it’s just a short question that would take a sentence to respond, they call me and it turns into a whole conversation which is usually chit-chat and wastes my time, or an impromptu meeting that I’d rather be better prepared for. Would it be poor form for me to ask my manager to respond by e-mail when possible? If so, what’s the most tactful way for me to do that?
THE FIRST ANSWER
Addy Smith, HR manager, PowerUp Leadership, Halifax
Manager relationships are certainly tough to navigate. First, it’s important to recognize that, at the end of the day, your manager wants you to be the most productive you can be. That’s the main purpose of your job – to do your work. So, while it’s important to consider feelings in how you approach this situation, you should set boundaries with your manager so they can let you do your best work.
If you haven’t already, try setting firm boundaries with your manager when this situation might occur. Consider adding to your e-mail, “I’m working on [X] for the next [number of hours], but should have a 10-minute break at [time] if you’d prefer to discuss this over a call. Just let me know and I can send you a meeting invite.” Or, when they call you, consider saying something similar, telling them politely that you are trying to focus and you can call back at a different, pre-scheduled time or they can respond to your e-mail.
If that doesn’t solve the problem, then it’s time for you to have a tough but necessary conversation with your manager. Consider bringing it up at your next one-on-one meeting. The best way to go about this conversation is to be honest but not accusatory. Let them know how their actions are affecting your work and come prepared with some ideas for solutions. Give your manager space to provide their take on the situation and approach their response with a curious mind. These conversations are tough, but remember – you’re on the same team, so you have to work together to find a solution that is best for both of you.
THE SECOND ANSWER
Neha Khurram, executive coach and founder, the Hiring Community, Toronto
It’s critical to set expectations around the best communication method to have a productive relationship with your manager. You may want to preface your next conversation by letting them know your preferred communication method. Practice your direct feedback with a script. Perhaps highlight what types of issues are best handled over a phone call and what examples would be best addressed in an e-mail.
You may also consider approaching this topic more broadly as a team exercise on each person’s work style and preferred communication style. You can reference this activity and template from Atlassian on developing a personal user manual. This prompts reflection and allows the team to better understand how to work with each other.
You may also seek guidance from your human resources department as a confidential request on how to best provide feedback to your manager. If you decide to approach them without HR’s guidance, practice your script and deliver the feedback during a one-on-one to focus on the topic. Part of your script could be: “I wanted to provide some feedback on our collaboration to improve our service delivery (or another outcome you two work toward). I’ve noticed a tendency to opt for a phone call rather than asynchronous communication when I e-mail you for guidance.”
Emphasize that you appreciate their willingness and availability to support you. However, be clear and concise that you prefer e-mail and provide a rationale on why this is a good option for documentation/reference purposes in addition to limiting context switching as you may be working on other tasks when they request a call. Hear their perspective and be open to working on a solution that works for both of you.
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