THE SCENARIO
I am a female whose boss is also female. She's critical of my work and makes more demands on my time - much more so than that of my male colleagues. I'm beginning to wonder if she feels threatened by me, another woman. How do I address this without jeopardizing my job?
THE ADVICE
Set up a meeting with your boss to discuss her concerns about your performance. Indicate to her that you enjoy your job, the company and the opportunities available to you. Also acknowledge your boss for some of the qualities you appreciate about her - for example, her strong work ethic or her determination.
Then, ask your boss what she thinks of your performance. Take note of her response. Thank her for any positive comments she gives you. If she does not come up with any positive comments, then ask her what positive things she sees in you and your performance. If she still does not come up with any positives, ask her if she really wants you to work for her. If she says no, tell her that you would like to be transferred to another department. Also state that you would appreciate receiving her support in the form of a positive reference for a new position in the company.
If your boss states that she does see the strengths in you, then talk to her about how you can work more effectively together. Redesign your relationship with her.
Tell her that you appreciate her supervision and her input and tell her how it makes you feel when she is critical of your work and when she gives you more work and tougher assignment than your male colleagues. Indicate that you like to work hard and that you are more productive and perform better when you receive more positive feedback and are treated equitably. Ask your boss if she can commit to that. If she says yes, tell her that you will commit to working effectively with her and that you will seek her advice and support when you need clarification or help with a matter. Set up a regular time to review your relationship and your performance with her.
If your boss is not able to commit to working more positively with you and treating you equitably, ask her why. If she is not willing to share this with you, ask her what she is willing to commit to. If your boss is still reluctant to change her behaviour, tell her that you will have to bring this to the attention of the union representative (if applicable), human resources department and her boss. Suggest you have a meeting with all these officials and your boss.
If you are still not able to resolve the situation, ask for a transfer to a new department or start looking for a position outside of the company. If you feel your boss is still being more than critical and singling you out from the other workers, contact the harassment officer or senior human resources official in your company.
Bruce Sandy is president of Pathfinder Coaching in Vancouver
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