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HOW TO APOLOGIZE From selling cold cuts contaminated with listeria to leaving airline passengers stranded, companies make mistakes. A good executive knows when and how to offer a meaningful apology. Not only will it help repair the damage but it's a way for you to come across as a responsible leader. John Kador, author of Apology: A User's Guide, which will be published next year, suggests how you can avoid feeling sorry for yourself.

Don't delay You want to be first with your message. If you don't talk, your opponents will. Tell it straight, tell it all "You can't talk your way out of a situation you acted your way into," says Kador. Don't spin. Don't omit important information, no matter how painful. It always comes out in the end.

Recognize the error In a clear and simple way, identify what you did wrong. Use "I" instead of "we," and don't offer excuses. "No one is interested in intentions," says Kador. "They are always interested in consequences." Make it clear your prime consideration is protection of the consumer or other wronged parties. Actually say "I'm sorry" Hedging with "I regret" is less effective. The apology should emphasize compassion for the injured party, rather than redemption for the apologizer. Offer restitution Now is the time to start making amends with concrete offers and proposals. Says Kador: "A good apology is going to require some sacrifice. But it usually costs less than defending your position in court."

HOW TO PLANT AN AIR KISS Knowing when and how to greet a client with a kiss is an art.

Follow these steps to avoid embarrassment, or worse, bodily injury.

Observe How are they greeting each other? Decide beforehand whether a handshake will do. Once you've settled on the kiss, proceed with authority. Read body language Reach out as if to grasp or touch the person's upper arm. If the person recoils or seems tense, loudly state the person's name while touching their arms or shoulders. Smile and step back. Your work is done.

Lean in Aim to plant your smooch on the air beside their right cheek. (Keep an eye on them to make sure they're doing the same, to avoid a collision.) It's okay to brush cheeks lightly.

HOW TO RETIRE (ON THE JOB) Gil Schwartz's day job is executive vice-president of corporate communications for CBS Corp. But many people know him as Stanley Bing, the name under which he writes a blog for Fortune magazine and has authored three books. His most recent title is Executricks: Or How to Retire While You're Still Working. According to Bing the satirist, you should use "the everyday tools of business to achieve all the benefits of an affluent retirement lifestyle." Start with breakfast "Retired people rise when they wish, have a leisurely breakfast, read the paper and mosey around before the day begins," says Bing. "Anyone who has mastered the art of a working breakfast is able to do the same, only with greater access to bacon and other fine-dining pleasures." Invite like-minded colleagues to business breakfasts and lunches so you can spend an hour chatting and reading the paper. Use confusion to your advantage Travelling on business is stressful enough. "If your company has two offices in the same geographic area, schedule a couple of meetings, but realize that for a good part of the trip, people at point A will think you're at point B, and vice versa," he says. Take the opportunity to grab a nap in your hotel room. Realize that meetings are for suckers At least 80% of meetings aren't really work. "The elimination of bullshit meetings is a key cornerstone in the larger strategy of carving out your own time," he says. Send somebody else to the meeting and then offer your feedback via BlackBerry while you enjoy a leisurely "working lunch." Find a sucker "Delegation is the key to peace of mind and a working retirement," says Bing. "By avoiding direct labour, you're announcing yourself as a manager as opposed to a worker ant." Don't have an executive assistant yet? Ask your boss if you can borrow her EA in order to complete a project.

HOW TO HAVE BABIES Women no longer have to choose between their careers and their kiddies. But that doesn't mean it's not stressful excusing yourself from the office for maternity leave. Moms who've been there and done that offer advice on bringing the baby into the boardroom.

BEFORE Don't get defensive about your job security: Successful managers view maternity leave as a time for stretch assignments and succession planning. Tara Ellis, VP of Showcase and drama content at CanWest Global Communications, interviewed her own replacement candidates before her second mat leave. "It can be nerve-racking to think of someone sitting in your office while you're away, but it's better to have someone minding the store," she says. "Otherwise, you get back and there are piles everywhere." Introduce colleagues and clients to your new team, so that work flows smoothly in your absence.

DURING Keep the date of your return as flexible as possible. Priorities change and newborns get even harder to leave as your return date approaches. Resist the urge to stay (obsessively) in touch with the office. Brief updates from colleagues help you keep abreast of your industry, but conference calls just add to the stress. Simple things like reading the newspaper keep your toe in the adult pool. Mona Malone, BMO's VP of advanced leadership and management development, stayed active in her charity work: "It's good for networking and keeping your confidence, which you can lose when you're away from the work force."

AFTER Get with the program. Flexible work arrangements are the boon of the new millennium. Three months after she had her first baby in 1991, Cathy Backman's boss asked if she wanted to take on a new position. Now a senior VP at TD Canada Trust, Backman proposed an arrangement that had her at the office only two days a week. "I view myself as a trailblazer," she says. "I really had to sell the idea. I'm happy to say those policies are now formalized." Parental leave for dads is another sweet victory-maybe it's time for Mr. Mom to see some action.

HOW TO KEEP A SECRET Maxime Bernier lost his post as minister of foreign affairs after leaving confidential documents at his paramour's home. He's not alone in his neglect of confidential information. Claudiu Popa, president

of Toronto firm Informatica Security Corp., outlines some common oversights, and how to avoid them.

KNOW WHICH DOCUMENTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL Many companies lack a universal system for classifying data. Popa suggests assigning different levels of confidentiality to all of your corporate information.

DON'T PRINT UNNECESSARY COPIES Trade secrets and private data about customers and clients should be printed only when absolutely necessary. Dispose of the copies with a cross-cut shredder as soon as possible. "Create a stamp that says 'Confidential' and also marks the date," Popa says. That way, you won't leave copies lying around for days after printing.

AVOID TRAVEL WITH DATA Popa warns that your risk of committing a security breach increases when you leave the office. "Tons of briefcases are stolen from cars' passenger seats and trunks," he says. If you must take your briefcase with you, hide it under the car seat or, better yet, carry it with you at all times.

DON'T TAKE MEETINGS IN STARBUCKS People eavesdrop, so avoid meetings with colleagues and clients in cafés if you're discussing sensitive topics. Meet in an office or at home.

HOW TO FAKE IT (TILL YOU MAKE IT) Like a peacock with his feathers, you want others to admire the trappings of your success. But what if said trappings are

out of your price range? Borrow them.

YOU WANT Conversation-worthy contemporary art WHO'S GOT IT Art Gallery of Ontario rentals department Pedigree Drawing from heavy-hitting Toronto galleries, the AGO offers striking photographs from the Stephen Bulger Gallery, quirky works from Katherine Mulherin's, and massive abstracts from Christopher Cutts WHAT IT COSTS $90 for an annual AGO membership, plus 2% to 4% of the work's full cost monthly (three months minimum) WE SAY At $240 a month to borrow a $10,000 piece, you can pad your culture quotient without maxing out your Visa

› You want An apartment not furnished by Ikea Who's got it Rosemont Residences in Toronto Pedigree Bachelor, one- and two-bedroom suites in the tony Yorkville neighbourhood or the Entertainment District, offering leather club chairs, stainless-steel appliances and spa-like bathrooms Bottom line $3,300/month and up We say For a less pricey (and less weird) solution, host a meal in a private dining room and blame the contractor for delaying your reno

› You want Hot wheels Who's got it Affinity Luxury and Exotic Car Rentals Pedigree Whether it's an understated BMW 3 series sedan or a Porsche 911 Turbo, they've got the car that gives

off your chosen vibe Bottom line $100 a day for a sedan; $2,000 a day for a Lamborghini

Gallardo We say Snazzier than showing up at the ski retreat in your nine-year-old Honda

› You want A date that won't eat off his knife Who's got it Eva's Dream male escort agency Pedigree Promising cosmopolitan, well-mannered male escorts between the ages of 20 and 60, "Eva" sets up a predate phone call so you and your man can devise a backstory before the big event Bottom line Prices

start at $250 (U.S.) for a two-hour

date We say He'll be conversational and look good in a tux, but "full services" are not available

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