A suggestion (free of charge) to the City of Vancouver, which is looking to raise cash by selling naming rights to parks and other city assets: One of your first calls should be to Stanley, the tool people. Or Stanley, the travel-mug people.
If the city changes the names of local landmarks, it can count on some backlash. A top priority should be preserving the name of its most beloved place. If Stanley Park – the forested oceanside downtown gem – became Stanley® Park, who would even notice? There’s only so much outrage to go around, and in this city, where so many of us are worn down from trying to make ends meet under a crushing cost of living, there is very little energy left for indignation. (Although we do try.)
The city is looking for “innovative” ways to offset a $500-million infrastructure deficit and ease property taxes (Vancouver recently approved a whopping 7.5-per-cent property-tax increase this year). One of those options is offering naming rights to parks and other city assets in exchange for financial support.
Back in February, when Mayor Ken Sim first publicly floated the idea, he mused that by doing this, Vancouverites might actually see a reduction in their property tax bills.
“It’s absolutely crazy that hospitals and universities [are] naming their buildings left, right and centre and we have all these buildings, all these assets, all these parks,” he said during a Q&A at the Greater Vancouver Board of Trade “State of the City” event.
The Mayor’s budget task force is looking into the idea as one possible solution to the budget mess. Mr. Sim says conversations with interested parties could start as early as the fall.
“We have over 250 parks and literally hundreds of buildings that are all looking for naming sponsors,” he said recently.
Vancouver is dealing with aging infrastructure in need of extensive – and expensive – repairs. On Wednesday, the city announced that Kitsilano Outdoor Pool, a cherished city spot next to Kits Beach, would not open this summer.
The Mayor is currently at war with the Vancouver Park Board, which he wants to abolish. And, unsurprisingly, the park board is critical of the idea. “He was brought in as Mayor to fix the city, not to sell it,” Park Board chair Brennan Bastyovanszky told CTV.
The city previously struck a deal with Freedom Mobile on naming rights for a new concert venue at the Pacific National Exhibition (PNE). Citizens are now invited to weigh in on the proposed names for the amphitheatre: Freedom Mobile Amp, Freedom Mobile Arch, Freedom Mobile Rise or Freedom Mobile Place.
How’s that for freedom of choice?
Beyond that, the sponsorship possibilities are endless. Consider Vancouver’s Dude Chilling Park – a name that started as an artist’s prank and was elevated to official status thanks to widespread public delight. So what about: Nude Chilling Park, brought to you by those 100-calorie canned vodka, gin and tequila drinks that are generally served – yes – chilled? (If the city is worried about this partnership possibly inspiring behaviour unbecoming for an urban park, perhaps the Nude Beverages brand might be a better fit for Wreck Beach.)
Everyone knows there’s no trout in Trout Lake (and if there were, you certainly wouldn’t want to eat it) and that nobody gets lost at Lost Lagoon, one of the most visited and best-documented landmarks in the city. The names don’t even apply!
But Lululemon Lagoon has a certain ring to it, no? With the bonus of being named for one of Vancouver’s corporate success stories. Hey, I’m off to Lulu Lagoon to get some exercise in an attempt to stop my thighs from rubbing together and ruining my expensive yoga pants.
For Trout Lake, the city could surely stick with the fish theme. Perhaps it might approach a famous seafood restaurant – a thriving success story with oodles of money with which to sponsor the place. Red Lobster Lake!
English Bay could become Electronic Arts Bay – almost the same initials (and bonus: EA has a huge local presence). VanDusen Botanical Garden could become Vans Botanical Garden, with visitors strolling around the lush gardens in their comfy(ish) eponymous sneakers.
Why stop with parks? Why not rename roads, too? This numbered east-west street system we’ve got going here works almost too well. Time to challenge the residents! A small price to pay for easing their property taxes.
Also, transit. What does the ‘B’ in Translink’s B-Line stand for anyway – boring? How about bringing a smile to all those commuters smushed onto those buses or waiting forever in the rain for one to show up by renaming it, say, Buster McBusface? (Not sure who would pay for this; there are still some kinks to be worked out.)
You know what they say: everything is for sale – for the right price.