Pro-Palestinian protesters disrupt the Toronto Pride Parade on June 30.Arlyn McAdorey/The Canadian Press
The intersection of the LGBTQ and Jewish communities has been jammed with heartache since Oct. 7. There has been heartache in all communities affected by the Israel-Hamas war, of course. But there is a real feeling of betrayal among some gay Jewish Canadians.
“You think you understand your place in your community and then your whole world is flipped upside-down and you are now shown that everything is not as what it seemed, and that your membership is conditional,” says Torontonian Shoshannah Cooper-Porter, who describes herself as “unapologetically” Black, Jewish and queer. “I am grieving.”
There is shock, anger and a disorienting incredulousness that they no longer feel welcome in spaces that used to feel safe, such as Pride events.
“Pride feels different for me,” wrote Helen Sadeh in an Instagram post ahead of Toronto’s parade, which took place June 30. “I have been watching the LGBTQ community turn its collective back on my boys.” Ms. Sadeh, a Sephardic Jew living just north of Toronto, has three teenage sons, all of whom are gay. Her husband was born in Israel and came to Canada as a baby.
“It is sad to see that the LGBTQ community, who prides itself on pride of being who you are in every aspect, is so overtly exclusive in this regard,” she said in an interview this week. “It hurts.”
A Jewish contingent marched in Toronto’s Pride Parade; it included the Sadehs. At the same time, some long-time Jewish participants decided to skip it this year. Security for the group was tight: one security person for every two expected participants, according to the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs (CIJA). There was a warm reception from the crowd along the way, participants I spoke to said. But the group also encountered boos, middle-fingers and aggressive signs and jeers.
“It takes a very hideous person to yell at queer and trans folks who are marching in a Pride parade,” says Jess Burke, DEI training director and Liaison to 2SLGBTQIA+ Partnerships with CIJA. Ms. Burke, who is a lesbian married to an Israeli, says a security diversion had to be enacted as the group ended its march because of counterprotesters who she says were harassing and pursuing them.
“I think it opened up people’s eyes to see what it’s like to be queer and Jewish right now,” she told me.
The parade was ultimately shut down by pro-Palestinian protesters. (I struggle with this term, pro-Palestinian, because many of the gay Jewish people I spoke to about this (some off-the-record) are pro-Palestinian; they are for Palestinian rights and want the war to end. But they are rattled by a response they feel veers into antisemitism.)
“It’s become rather hostile to the point where we avoid the traditional Pride events that are being put on by the community because we don’t feel psychologically or physically safe,” a Jewish drag queen who goes by Gila Münster told me this week. (Her signature show is the 8 Gays of Channukah.) She sat out the parade in Kingston, where she is going into her second year of law school at Queen’s, and says she and her partner have lost many friends.
“People we used to think were allies have decided because we are Jewish or because I was born in Israel that we are somehow against the queer community’s goal,” she said. For her, she says, being queer and Jewish go hand-in-hand. (Ms. Münster’s website features a photo of her in drag, wearing an IDF uniform – which would certainly be triggering for some.)
“In law school we’re taught how to argue things. But you can’t argue with people who are not interested in seeing you as human. It’s been dehumanizing to have a story that isn’t mine thrust upon me without an opportunity to speak back against it,” she says, calling it ungenerous and unfair. “And I don’t think that it speaks to the spirit of the Pride movement.”
Vancouver, where I live, will hold its parade this Sunday. The Pride Society, which organizes the festivities, did not respond to my queries, but Ms. Burke says she expects a disruption.
Pride started as a protest movement by the gay community, which has been horribly oppressed. Even if, happily, the event has become celebratory, protest remains at the heart of Pride and the right to protest is sacrosanct. One does wonder, though, why there is so much focus on protesting this particular war when the parade has not been stopped over other conflicts or wars. As many people I spoke to pointed out, Israel is ironically a haven in the Middle East for LGBTQ people.
In the past, I have attended the Vancouver parade as an ally. My son has also participated (with his dad, another ally). It has always been a joyous, sweaty affair. And important.
This year, I will not be there.