Politics Briefing: Humour in the House of Commons?

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Good morning,

Every once in a while a bout of good humour breaks out in the House of Commons, as it did yesterday right before Question Period.

Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner of Nova Scotia traditionally recites a poem, riffing on A Visit From St. Nicholas, each year before the House rises for the holidays. And this year he was joined by Conservative MP Mark Strahl.

Here are their poems.

Mr. Strahl: "'Twas 12 days before Christmas, almost time to head home

But first we'll endure that Cape Bretoner's poem

But before he gets up and makes fun of us Tories

We get to stand up and tell our Christmas story.

"The Liberals have had quite a fall, it's been swell

To see all their plans go to Morneau Shep-Hell.

They went after our farmers and small business owners

While protecting their ass-ets, and their wealthy friend donors

"And they sometimes forget, 'cause it's easy to do

When you're counting your villas - was it 1, 3, or 2?

"There've been some big changes for us around here.

We have a new leader, and for us it is clear

That he's younger, and taller, more virile and sharper

Than the current PM, and he smiles more than Harper.

"He works hard for our party, starts each day before dawn

And the best part of all is he keeps his shirt on

He has no Mercedes, no fortune, no nannies

But he's such a nice man, he connects with the grannies.

"Yes, in 2019 it will be quite a fight.

But till then, merry Christmas, and to all, a safe flight."

And Mr. Cuzner: "'Twas the week before Christmas and not much was new;

But I'll just take a moment to offer my view.

"The new Tory leader picked a political spat;

But it's hard to take him serious with dimples like that;

"But even those dimples cannot hide the shock;

Of what happened Monday evening in South Surrey—White Rock.

"The Dippers believe their Saviour's been sent;

He's bumped up their polling to 16 per cent.

"To the new leader, here's a challenge to meet;

It would be sweet to compete with Jagmeet for a seat.

"The Bloc were once strong, but find themselves in a quandary;

Break up the country? They couldn't separate their own laundry.

"While opposition parties were sitting back and relaxing;

We did the hard work, which some say was quite taxing.

"Housing and poverty, so much progress has been made;

Take, for example, international trade.

"Cuz as much as we love trade with North Carolina;

Opportunities abound in places like China.

"And if the current view of NAFTA is forced to be dealt;

I'll hang mistletoe off the back of my belt.

"There's the far left, the alt right, and the smart in between;

I'd still bet on our boy in 2019!"

This is the daily Politics Briefing newsletter, written by Chris Hannay in Ottawa, Mayaz Alam in Toronto and James Keller in Vancouver. If you're reading this on the web or someone forwarded this email newsletter to you, you can sign up for Politics Briefing and all Globe newsletters here. Have any feedback? Let us know what you think.

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CANADIAN HEADLINES

The House of Commons is now on break until Jan. 29, 2018. Before MPs rushed out the door, they did approve three appointees for the commissioners of lobbying, ethics and official languages and passed a last couple of bills, including one to expunge the criminal records for those convicted due to their sexuality.

The deputy director of operations in the Prime Minister's Office is being investigated for unspecified allegations.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says all residential school survivors should be able to share their stories with a national historical centre.

Nunavut has finally been added to Parliament Hill's Centennial Flame, 18 years after becoming a territory.

Finance Minister Bill Morneau has released more details about the tax changes for private corporations that come into effect on Jan. 1.

On another note, Mr. Morneau told Global News that "had I known back then what I know now," he would have sold his shares in Morneau Shepell much sooner than he did.

The federal government is set to buy $100-million worth of technology from startups under a new program that aims to boost Canada's tech sector, The Globe's Sean Silcoff has learned. Innovation Minister Navdeep Bains will be joined by Small Business Minister Bardish Chagger to unveil the initiative today.

The first of the Canada 150 Research Chairs have been announced.

The dispute with Boeing could give Lockheed Martin the edge in the race to supply Canada with its next generation of fighter jets. Lockheed Martin's F-35 is up against the Eurofighter Typhoon and Dassault Aviation SA's Rafale.

Montreal is moving to ban the sale of sugary drinks inside city buildings.

British Columbia's government-owned insurance company is reviewing the list of doctors who can assess accident victims after The Globe and Mail identified problems with the practice across the country. The Insurance Corp. of B.C. says it has already removed one doctor from its roster.  Earlier this month, a Globe investigation found some injury-assessment firms and doctors were creating medical reports that were determined to be inaccurate, unfairly biased against accident victims or even ghostwritten by staff at the assessment firms.

B.C.'s children's advocate says the province needs to do more to ensure kids in government care end up in permanent homes. Bernard Richard, B.C.'s representative for children and youth, says current adoption rates for 2017 are well behind the previous two years, as more than 1,000 children in government care wait to be adopted.

And what a few months for Alberta MLA Derek Fildebrandt: He has come under fire for claiming housing allowances while renting his home on Airbnb, stepped down as finance critic for the United Conservative Party and been on trial for an alleged hit-and-run. Now he has been charged with illegally shooting a deer.

Campbell Clark (The Globe and Mail) on Finance Minister Bill Morneau: "For Mr. Morneau, shaving the edges off the income-sprinkling measures was yet another sacrifice to buy some peace before the holidays, but it's too late for goodwill. It was the end-of-session bookend for a fall political debacle."

Elinor Sloan (The Globe and Mail) on procurement: "Two years ago, the Trudeau government entered office stating flat out that Canada would not buy the Lockheed Martin F-35. One year ago, it announced Canada would buy the Boeing Super Hornet as an interim fighter. Tuesday it announced Canada will buy used F-18s from Australia instead, and launched a competition that includes a provision seen as directed at Boeing. This bewildering series of developments has ended in a sensible but risky plan. Its success is entirely dependent on meeting stated timelines, something for which past experience does not bode well. Failing this, Canada's air force could find itself in the same unprecedented situation as the navy; that is, years with a loss in capability altogether and with it the country's ability to defend itself."

Andrew Coyne (National Post) on procurement: "The F-35, by the way, is the plane that Australia has chosen to replace its aging F-18s: the one it is now selling to us. It may well be the plane that Canada eventually chooses to replace, er, itself. But that's not until after the next election, so it hardly counts."

Denise Balkissoon (The Globe and Mail) on fact checking and social media: "The volume of information and questionable images never stops. That's exactly why it's important that everyone remember to fact-check, especially eye-catching images shared on social media, where the BBC and basement blogs get equal billing. The good news is it's usually not that hard, since a quick search usually turns up the facts, or at least a more nuanced discussion. The bad news is that such tricky problems belie clever mottos: So, uh, if it looks too good to be true, it's probably, at the very least, more complicated."

Eric Adams (The Globe and Mail) on interprovincial trade: "If the constitutional lessons of the past and provisions of the present are ignored, we see the 'shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us.' One possible future predicts no end to the petty retaliations and trade barriers provinces could enact against one another, and the sealing of borders, loss of opportunities and economic inefficiencies that would result. Governments would spend more time and resources fighting one another in media scrums and in court. Provinces would become like Scrooge: 'hard and sharp as flint … solitary as an oyster.' It does not have to be."

INTERNATIONAL HEADLINES

British Prime Minister Theresa May was handed a major defeat in the House of Commons yesterday. Her government's key Brexit bill was narrowly defeated 309-305 as members of her Conservative caucus rebelled. British MPs are in the process of debating the EU withdrawal bill, which would repeal the law that bound the U.K. to the EU and import European laws into Britain's legal system.

China's government is clamping down on people who help homeless migrants who have come to Beijing, the country's capital, from elsewhere in China. "In 2008, Beijing welcomed you. In 2016, Beijing hated you. In 2017, Beijing expelled you. In 2018, Beijing won't even bother to see you," is how one woman described her experience to The Globe's Nathan VanderKlippe after being evicted.

Muslim leaders urged the rest of the world to recognize East Jerusalem as the capital of Palestine and condemned Mr. Trump's decision to unilaterally recognize the city as Israel's capital.

Inmate torture is continuing at Guantanamo Bay, the U.S. detention facility according to a U.N. human rights expert. The U.S. officially banned "enhanced interrogation techniques" a decade ago.

Ecuador's Vice President Jorge Glas has been sentenced to six years in prison after a court found him guilty of receiving bribes from a Brazilian construction company.

And Omarosa Manigault Newman, the White House aide and former reality TV star, is no longer with the administration. A former Democrat who was the director of African-American outreach on the 2016 Trump campaign, she was fired by Mr. Trump on The Apprentice.

Sarah Kendzior (The Globe and Mail) on Alabama: "The Alabama Senate race was a national moment of soul-searching, and many Americans are relieved to find that we still have a soul. But Mr. Jones's win was no miracle. The race was won by the determination of organizers, the bravery of women who spoke out, the tenacity of black voters in the face of systemic discrimination and the persuasiveness of Jones's message, which decried corruption and promised representation for all."

Konrad Yakabuski (The Globe and Mail) on more Roy Moore: "Mr. Trump and Mr. Bannon seem to believe that base is still large and angry enough to enable the President and like-minded Republicans to eke out victories next year and in 2020. Alabama suggests otherwise. Yes, it would be hard for Republicans to nominate worse candidates than Mr. Moore. But just watch them." (for subscribers)