Sheila Fynes holds a photo of her son Stuart Langridge as he’s seen during a Remembrance Day ceremony.CHAD HIPOLITO/The Globe and Mail
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About a year after their son's death, Sheila and Shaun Fynes hovered at a Remembrance Day ceremony in Victoria, waiting for the right moment to lay a wreath in memory of the young soldier.
Corporal Stuart Langridge wasn't like the others. He didn't die in combat.
He took his life in 2008, four years after serving in Afghanistan. He had been an accomplished soldier – a tank gunner in Lord Strathcona's Horse, an armoured regiment based in Edmonton. But after his deployment, he started to suffer from depression and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, which was never officially diagnosed. He also struggled with addictions.
Cpl. Langridge didn't die in the war, but his parents believe he is a casualty of the Afghanistan mission – one of at least 59 soldiers and veterans who died by suicide after returning from the war.
"We decided our son had to be remembered," Ms. Fynes recalled Tuesday. "These men and women, they were heroes, too. They served. They became sick and they died."
The Fyneses took a moment to reflect after they laid down their wreath in 2009. The couple had waited for the crowd to mostly clear because they didn't want to interrupt the Remembrance Day service.
Some who remained moved toward the couple and knelt in respect. The couple was astounded and honoured. Ever since, they no longer hover to remember their son.
On Wednesday, the Fyneses and their other son will attend a Remembrance Day ceremony at the legislative grounds in Victoria, and then head to a nearby Royal Canadian Legion branch to spend some time with veterans.
Ms. Fynes is hopeful that one day, all soldiers who took their lives after serving in Afghanistan will be remembered alongside the 158 members who died in the mission.
The Canadian Forces and federal government commemorate the country's mission deaths in online tributes and in the Afghanistan Memorial Vigil – to be permanently installed, along with a battlefield cenotaph, in Ottawa around 2017. These memorials include six soldiers who killed themselves in theatre. Yet the names of the 59 members and vets who took their lives after returning from the war are absent.
"I desperately would like to see all of the soldiers honoured. All of them," Ms. Fynes said. "When a soldier takes his own life, it's another layer of hurt and grief."
On the other side of the country, Darrell and Brenda McMullin will be remembering their son, Corporal Jamie McMullin. He was diagnosed with PTSD after returning from Afghanistan in 2009, and took his life in June, 2011.
Cpl. McMullin's name will be read out in a Remembrance Day ceremony in Oromocto, N.B., a recognition that means a great deal to his family.
"They are casualties of that war," said his father, a career army man. "To me, it's like he's being acknowledged for dying in Afghanistan of his injuries."
Are you a member of a military family with a similar story? E-mail Renata D'Aliesio at rdaliesio@globeandmail.com as she continues to bring attention to this important issue.