Some travellers get rewards through points. I get mine by meeting strangers in various cities.
Since I’m often out of town for work, I try to make the most of my visits by meeting men from different area codes. (I do write about relationships for a living, after all.) I’ve dated guys in Aruba, Dominican Republic, Vancouver, Calgary and San Francisco, the list goes on. Do these men all turn out to be love connections? Obviously not. But even if I haven’t found “the one” I’ve discovered excellent drinking buddies, knowledgeable tour guides and lifelong friends in the process.
My meet-cute method of choice is dating apps. The moment my aircraft touches down I turn on my phone and start looking. While other passengers are messaging their loved ones to say they’ve arrived safely, I’m swiping and liking to my heart’s delight. I’m able to quickly find someone who shares my interests and who I likely otherwise wouldn’t meet.
My favourite app is Happn, which matches you with people in your immediate vicinity (within 800 feet), making it easy to meet as quickly as possible. A “See you there” feature lets you indicate that you’re currently free and choose from a list of potential activities, including drinks, coffee, dinner or even a run.
A couple years back, I was sitting on an ocean-side beach chair in Aruba when Happn matched me with a handsome, heavily tattooed professional poker player from Sweden. It turns out, he was flown in to sit at a high-end poker table at my resort’s casino. We experienced immediate chemistry when we met that evening and ended up hanging out for the duration of the week between my excursions and his intense games.
At home, it would all be too much too soon. But on the road, the imminent end date means it’s okay to pack in as much as you can. It allows you to be more in the moment and lacks the “what’s next” anxiety that tends to take over most dating situations. In normal circumstances, people play by a perceived set of rules. While travelling, it’s easier to just be yourself, letting you to experience things in a more intense and authentic way. They don’t call it wanderlust for nothing.
On my last night with this particular gent, he took me and some friends to an off-site dinner, which remains one of the most memorable meals I’ve had while travelling. It was all just what the doctor ordered for my vacation but ultimately it wasn’t a love connection. Still, to my surprise, he became a lifelong friend – made possible because we got to know each other in such a real, raw and honest way.
Another time, I was flown out to Vancouver to do an on-air appearance and decided to make a trip out of it. I updated my Bumble account to say “in VAN for a hot minute” so users would know to act fast, if interested. I met a gent for a bike ride near my hotel and though there was no romantic connection, he was a proud fan of his city and showed me around some hidden gems. The Blue Jays were in the playoffs at the time, so he invited me to watch the game with his friends at a sports bar – one that the posh hotel I was staying at surely wouldn’t have suggested. It made me feel as homey as I could at the other end of the country.
We were able to establish trust – crucial when it comes to online dating no matter where you are in the world. Of course, that doesn’t always happen and things don’t always go as planned. The night before I connected with the poker player in Aruba I agreed to meet another guy on Happn at my resort’s nightclub. When he got too touchy for my liking, I excused myself and called it a night, then alerted security to ensure I wasn’t followed.
Another time in Winnipeg a date became aggressive as we drank in the lobby bar; I signaled to the waitstaff, who cut him off and asked him to leave. (Even after he did, I had security escort me to my room as an extra precaution.) Being aware, speaking up and removing myself from a situation are key steps to take if things become uncomfortable or I feel my safety is in question. This is why I usually stay close to my temporary home base for my dates.
Of course, sometimes a date is just plain old bad. Two years ago I was in Calgary for a few weeks and knew not a soul. I activated Happn and connected immediately with a cute guy a few doors down. Within half an hour we were having drinks. It wasn’t until the $75 bill came that he told me he must have left his wallet at the gym.
A couple days later I went on another date – this time with a guy whose debit card got declined. Out of money and luck, I took it as a sign that maybe I shouldn’t date Calgary men and instead downloaded Bumble to test out their newest feature, Bumble BFF. Expanding the brand beyond dating, it matches users with people to befriend. You know how in the movie I Love You, Man, Paul Rudd’s character is seeking a best man for his wedding? Bumble BFF could have found him a friend with ease.
A blond woman with a big smile and a knack for travelling caught my eye and after we matched I messaged her to tell her my deal: dating sucks. Women are great. Let’s go for bubbly! Show me around your city!
She wrote back and we set up our first “date,” taking a slew of mirror-selfies in the cocktail bar’s Instagram-worthy washroom at the end. We remain close friends and whenever I fly out west, I see her. We love our “how we met” story – that we were brought together by a dating app, of all things.
To make meeting an out-of-town love connection or new pal even easier, some apps are offering specific features for users looking to connect with members in different cities. The Inner Circle, launched last month in Canada and already popular in Europe, is the first dating app to offer a travel section. Under “Trips,” you can share details of your next adventure and set up a date with a local member well in advance. It’s paired with a “Spot Section,” which lets users see and share the most popular restaurants and bars in each city, acting as a travel guide of sorts.
As I start to plan my first solo trip after a recent break up, I’m looking forward to testing out these digital matchmakers. Maybe I’ll find love even before I set foot out of my living room in Toronto.