In San Diego, loosening up our parenting rules creates fun family memories

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It doesn’t rain often in San Diego. But it poured the morning we went to Legoland.

It was an unexpected twist we thought would ruin the outing. Instead, we splish-splashed through the puddles for fun. Then we headed to the park’s indoor attractions, including the impressive Sea Life Aquarium. When the sun came out in the afternoon, the crowds were thin and we had run of the place.

At home in Calgary, when our kids trudge through the rain and mud getting their school clothes wet and dirty, it prompts a lecture. But a vacation is a chance to make memories. And to create that mood for relaxation, you sometimes have to let go of the everyday rules. In our case, my husband and I allow non-stop screen time while in transit, wearing a favourite T-shirt for multiple days, eating chicken tenders and fries for most lunches, and – full confession – a lighter reprimand for picking flowers from tended gardens than would normally be the case.

My family of four always ends up back in San Diego. At first, we came to visit extended family. Then it was to visit the world-renowned San Diego Zoo. Now – an easy flight from Western Canada – it’s just to hang out in what has become one of our most-loved places.

When we arrived in mid-March, we first stayed at what has become an old standard for us: The Bahia Resort Hotel. Located on a man-made peninsula in Mission Bay, the hotel grounds and buildings feel like their own little mid-century architecture world. Three visually impaired, rescued harbour seals live in an exhibit on site, and our kids checked up on them every morning. The pool area is walled off from the wind and is enjoyable even in spring months – at least for Canadians, even if it’s not warm enough for locals.

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Our first couple of days of vacation consist of pool time and walks to acclimatize away from cold Calgary. A meal at “Mexican artisan” chain Puesto helped, especially a sampler that included guacamole mixed with Parmigiano-Reggiano. I thought this was a terrible combination – before I tried it. It was surprisingly delicious. That night the kids didn’t eat their dinners, and another rule we have about mealtime was broken on vacation. No problem: A quick stop at California staple Trader Joe’s grocery provided both a snack for the kids, and breakfast burritos and fruit to bring back to the hotel.

Tourists and locals alike head to the surf of the Pacific. But we wanted to try something new, and we had an unforgettable guided kayak excursion into an inland waterway with Ocean Connectors. The non-profit group uses the revenues from its nature tours to support its main work: bringing local schoolchildren into coastal environments to learn about migratory marine life. With the city and its parks surrounding us, a knowledgeable guide took us through the bay while we scanned the water for birds and turtles. The kids learned it was just fine to get their feet wet, and how to get through two hours of paddling, even against the wind.

Oceanside, a 40-minute drive north of San Diego, was our next family stop. We had never explored this far north in San Diego County. The city might be lesser known than, say, La Jolla or Carlsbad, but Oceanside manages to combine a relaxed southern California vibe with a scrappy determination to build itself into a bigger tourism destination.

I teasingly referred to Oceanside as Top Gun country, for its blue-collar and military roots (it’s just south of Camp Pendleton, the largest Marine base on the West Coast). But also because it’s actually home to a key scene in the 1986 blockbuster where Tom Cruise’s Maverick awkwardly asks Charlie (Kelly McGillis) whether he can take a shower at her house on their first date. Charlie’s Queen Anne Victorian home in the film is still a fun local attraction.

But there’s an obvious transition going on in this city, where upscale clothing stores sit alongside old-school taquerias. On our first night, we got our dinner at the jam-packed and diverse Oceanside Sunset Market, a food and music street fair. On another day, we set out on a burn-off-some-energy walk at the Buena Vista Audubon Nature Centre. The stroll on boardwalks over wetlands to look for birds helped calm the kids down after a spate of visits to the nearby San Diego Zoo Safari Park and Legoland.

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A dinner at Oceanside’s super-casual Corner Pizza was especially well-received: The kids devoured the meatballs appetizer and cheese pizza. The grown-ups got a Killer Bee pizza – perfectly spicy with gorgonzola, soppressata, pepperoni, rosemary and chili honey – and incredible beer from Artifex brewery, located next door in the same refurbished art deco building.

Our hotel, the Seabird Ocean Resort & Spa, is a new tourism anchor in the city. Just three years old, it’s pretty and fresh with an ambience created for social media snaps – it’s all white shiplap walls with yellow and blue embellishments. The Seabird is also super family friendly, with a lively pool area that can sometimes get crowded, but where it’s easy to swim with little ones and also have a clear view of the Pacific and Oceanside’s historic wooden pier.

The hotel’s hidden gem is its library, which was mostly empty of guests when we were there. It has comfy window seats overlooking the city. One afternoon, I had a precious hour to read by myself when the rest of the family went for burgers – a stolen stretch of quiet where it felt like I was the one breaking the rules.

If you go

• There are a number of non-stop WestJet and Air Canada flights to San Diego from major cities in Canada, including Vancouver, Calgary and Toronto.
• California isn’t cheap and the Canadian dollar doesn’t go far as it used to. Consider not renting a car for all or part of your stay, as parking at many hotels is particularly pricey. Walking and biking is wonderful, and ride-hailing services are plentiful. San Diego has great beachside playgrounds for kids when you need some time away from paid attractions.
• In Oceanside, at the Seabird Ocean Resort and Spa, my kids loved the pool-adjacent lounge – offering dominoes and board games for guests as a break from the sun – as well as a play room (unsupervised) in a different hotel wing just for children and their parents. theseabirdresort.com
• In Mission Beach, the Bahia Resort Hotel serves a great take on my favourite breakfast in the world – chilaquiles, a dish of tortilla chips, beans, avocado and fried eggs. And make sure you take in Belmont Park, which is free to enter and has pay-as-you-go rides, including the 99-year-old wooden roller coaster. bahiahotel.com

Some of the writer’s activities and accommodations were covered by the San Diego Tourism Authority. It did not review or approve the story.