Dog humps dog, homophobic owner surrenders him to be euthanized.
Wait, what?
I wish I was making this up, but it's true: An unimaginably ignorant owner in Jackson, Tennessee made headlines today when he mistook his male dog mounting another dog as homosexuality – and, being the unimaginably ignorant person he is, abandoned his four-legged friend.
There are too simply many things wrong here, but for starters: Humping, as most dog people know, is not related to sex (if it were so, we could conclude many puppies have strange sexual preferences for stuffed animals, couches, legs, etc.)
As an employee at the Jackson-Madison County animal shelter told the Jackson Sun, "I can't understand it... You know those dogs get on top of each other sometimes."
Since posting the story to its Facebook page, the Jackson animal shelter has received 'millions' of calls – and the allegedly gay bulldog mix has long been adopted by loving owners.
The shelter posted a photo of the adorable, misunderstood pooch in a cage, with the caption that included 'Even if that weren't the most asinine thing I've ever heard, its still discrimination!' Since then, the story's gone viral, picked up by Gawker and shared over 5,000 times.
A commenter on Facebook, Monte Church, said it best: "People that do not understand animal behaviour should not have nor they deserve the company of a loving pet. I have a 8 week old puppy that already 'humps.'" I am not sure but I do not believe pets have sexual preferences.
Still, some commenters on the story wonder why the masses are so upset by animal issues (gay penguin outrage, anyone?) and are unfazed by human cruelty:
On Gawker, one reader jibes: "Famines? Regrettable. Genocide? It happens. Wars? Terrorists! Cocker spaniels on 'death row'? Oh the humanity!"
This goes without saying, but let's say it anyway: If there ever were a gay dog, (I imagine he'd be a mighty fine dresser – like this dapper little shiba inu), he should be showered with all the puppy love all dogs deserve.