The results are in: Asking a pageant contestant to summarize her country’s identity with one outfit can result in travesty.
The Miss Universe National Costume Competition - which is a real thing that happens each year in the lead up to the televised competition - is an astounding display of weird, wonderful and what the frock.
Here is a selection of our favourite outstanding efforts - and biggest train wrecks.
Is she an eagle? Is she a freedom dove? We’ll never know. But with all of the national symbols and stereotypes of the U.S.A. at her disposal - and zero execution - Miss America is the big loser of this contest.
Miss France (or is that Taylor Swift?) kept it safe. Beret, dreamy skirt, sure. But I would have liked more Eiffel Tower, more baguette, more je ne sais quois.
Some women simply didn’t get the memo. This is a cute summer dress (maybe I can borrow it, Miss Slovak Republic?) but how is it a representation of your people?
Likewise, Miss Switzerland, you’re just wearing your flag. You're done here.
Miss Colombia wins for decorative, pretty outfit, but loses me beyond that.
Solid effort, Miss Venezuela. While most South American nations had themes with flowers and birds and bright, blinding colours - you mesmerized me. I can’t look away.
Miss Slovenia: Are your people a summation for bad prom dresses? No? Are your people bales of sparkly hay? No?
Things you’d never thought you’d ask a colleague: Is this woman wearing the Virgin Mary and the Baby Jesus on her abdomen? Thanks for that opportunity, Miss Dominican Republic.
Some ladies went way, way over the top, but missed the mark on any sort of identifying national icon. Cool warrior dress, Miss Ireland. But next time, more green, less Game of Thrones.
Runner up, in my books, is Miss Great Britain, Grace Levy. Sexy, stylish, incredibly stereotypical - which (I think?) is the point of this contest.
But, ladies, step aside. Remove your sequins and elaborate crowns and weird, pointy accessories: This competition is over. All hail the queen of national stereotypes, Miss Canada. While Chanel Beckenlehner is likely no hockey fan - check that scoreboard - she dazzles in a Stanley Cup crown, thigh-high skates, sequined jersey, 10 hockey sticks, a goal net skirt - she wins. O, Canada.