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PERSON

SIDNEY CROSBY

Don't misunderstand: We're very pro-Sidney Crosby. When all the Canadian teams got knocked out of the National Hockey League playoffs, we were happy to switch allegiance to the Pittsburgh Penguins just so we could cheer on the wonder from Nova Scotia. But, seriously dude, you call that a playoff beard? If that line of fuzz is for good luck, it's no wonder your team is struggling.

PLACE

SEARS

LL Cool J is creating an exclusive line of apparel for Sears. Sure, that makes sense. Nothing says "the softer side of Sears" like "relaxed and sexy" clothing adorned with embroidered tattoos "designed" by a rapper-turned-actor famous for such songs as I Shot Ya, Cheesy Rat Blues and Murdergram.

THING

SEX AND THE CITY PRODUCTS

It's such a pity it had to come to this. A show that made luxury designers such as Christian Louboutin, Dolce & Gabbana and Prada household names is being celebrated with ugly, cheap movie tie-ins. Rhinestone tank tops, tawdry lingerie, pink yoga-mat bags - the list is endless. Patricia Field, please forgive us.

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