It’s no secret that kids can get creative when it comes to thinking about the kinds of things Santa can deliver. After all, if you had access to a magical toyshop, what wouldn’t you want?
Last week, we asked readers to tell us about the ridiculous gifts the children in their lives had asked for this year, and people most definitely came through. From the endearingly mundane to the biggest ambitions (your very own water treatment plant?), the kids’ wishes described here show the range, and the hilarity, of what parents and loved ones get to experience upon receiving Christmas gift lists.
Take a look at some of the responses, and if you have more to add, feel free to fill out the form below.
Here’s what readers told us their kids have asked for this year. Answers have been edited and condensed for clarity:
Pam: “My 8-year-old granddaughter made a hand-written colourful Christmas list. Number 2 on the list was, ‘A secret door.’ When asked to explain what she meant, she said simply, ‘A secret door,’ like it was obvious. When she didn’t elaborate, I asked if she meant like in stories? ‘Yes,’ she said, sticking to her idea with a bit of a grin. I’m not sure if she’s read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, but that’s what I picture she wants for Christmas.”
Logan: “My almost 3 yr old asked for a pear.”
Sarah B.: “My 6-year-old son asked Santa Claus for ‘a toy boat that he could get inside and play.’ I searched for large toy boats — wood, fabric, plastic, etc — that would fit a tall child but could not find one. So I’ve ordered a standard three-person blowup dinghy off Amazon and figure he can play in it in the living room and we can use it camping this summer too.”
Wayne: “Our 7-year-old daughter had 10 items on her list, which is the longest the list can be according to Santa, and we always let our daughter know that Santa may not bring all of those items. She gave us her list and #5 was ‘Peace on Earth,’ which led to a very proud mom and dad moment. However, a short day later Peace on Earth was scratched out and replaced with “More Dance Clothes.” I guess it’s the initial thought that counts?”
Vincent: “My son, age 7, asked for a robotic dinosaur. Doesn’t sound too bad. But it also needs to have a coffee function, for the parents.”
Whitney: “An electric pencil sharpener was the only thing on my 10-year-old son’s letter to Santa, beating last year’s odd request for a blender. He loves a practical gift!”
Sarah N.: “My four kids have a long history of requesting gifts that do not exist and thus have to be ordered from crafters (thank you online craft shops!). One year it was a toy basilisk lizard (age 4). Another year it was a set of four wearable dragon tails and wings (ages 2 to 6). One year, the six-year-old asked for a model dragon egg (without clarity on how one would ascertain whether it was an accurate model or not). This year the odd duck gift is a picture of the requesting child (age 11) in a scene from their favourite anime show.”
Joy: “My daughter, age 8, has requested a new shelf and an ‘ax-Box 10′ from Santa. Requesting a shelf for Christmas is a new one for me; it also took me 10 minutes to realize what she meant was an ‘Xbox X’.”
Gary: “My 6-year-old grandson was in grade one when his mom asked him what his teacher would like for Christmas. He thought for a while then replied, ‘peace and quiet’.”
Anne: “When my son was six he asked Santa for a picture of God. I asked if he meant ‘Jesus,’ since depictions of God are rare. He responded, ‘That’s what I want to find out.’ And of course, Santa would give him the true answer. I asked a colleague with a son the same age what to do. She said, ‘Dunno, thankfully my kid asked for Hot Wheels.’ So Santa gave him a picture of Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, with a note saying that over the ages people have different ideas of God and this is one, and that over his lifetime my son would develop his own views. He was not impressed.”
Fiona: “My 3-year-old kid is obsessed with water treatment plants and asked Santa for a water treatment plant of his own.”
Caroline: “My six-year-old daughter’s letter to Santa included the request for a wolf. I asked if she meant a stuffy wolf but she confirmed no a real one. I really hope Santa doesn’t follow though with this.”
Lynne: “When my son was three he requested a crash helmet and an ironing board. That was forty-four years ago, but we still wonder why.”
Julia: ”After watching one too many Christmas movies, our son asked for his own personal elf to make him toys throughout the year. That was last year. As it didn’t work, this year’s request is simply for a 3-D printer to make the toys himself.”
Elizabeth: “More than two decades ago, our daughter asked for a dragon for Christmas. Thankfully, the puppet we found hasn’t burned down the house ... yet.”
Chandra: “My child has been talking about an axolotl for months. I thought it was a cartoon character or something on TV. Until I looked it up online and saw it is an actual animal that can live in a tank. Oh, and it’s an endangered species! Needless to say Santa won’t be leaving one of these under the tree!”
Sarah H.: “My 8-year-old son asked for a log splitter and a 3-D printer with 20lbs of plastic! (To make what, we’re not sure…) It is perhaps an improvement over last year, when his list included a Tesla, a camper van, a grappling hook and $1,000,000 cash. At least he dreams big!”
Megan: “Our 2-year-old son asked for a party for Mr. Kitty, our cat. Our cat is a rescue and runs around all night outside of our rooms loudly meowing in what we’d call a scream. We think he already parties enough and keeps us up all night, but apparently our toddler thinks he needs friends to join him in his partying!”
Mary: “When my son was 5, he asked for servants for Christmas. We were really into Harry Potter and thought maybe he meant serpents (which would also have been strange!) but nope, it was servants. He’s 15 now and all these years we’ve joked that he already had them, his mom and dad! But just now, because of your article I asked if he remembered why he asked for servants. He said he hated cleaning his room so much, and figured he’d find enough toys and stuff in there if someone would just clean up the mess.”
Nevin: “Curly nuts. He was 4, and couldn’t pronounce ‘cashews.’ Took me a week to figure out what he meant- we were at a family party a few days before Christmas and he got excited when he spotted a bowl of curly nuts! Easy addition to his Christmas stocking!”
Anna: “Our 3-year-old asked Santa for a magic wand this year. One that makes REAL magic. He then explained as if it was obvious that he could just magic all the other toys he wanted. Oh, and also a new house for us. When we gently explained that even Santa may not be able to bring a real magic wand, our 3 year old considered it seriously and then said, ‘OK! He can just bring me a Spiderman toy.’”
Siobhan: “My 3 year old started with a request for a toy dinosaur but has since dropped the toy part and is now expecting a live brontosaurus on the 25th.”
Evan: “My three-year-old daughter has repeatedly asked for a ladder for Christmas. She wants to touch the ceiling. I’ve hoisted her up to satisfy her craving, but it’s only deepened her desire for a ladder.”
Joann: “Our daughter, who is now a parent herself, as a child asked for a jar of Nutella as we refused to buy it. For special occasions, she now makes Nutella cupcakes for her friends’ baby showers and her husband’s work parties!”
Dianne: “For Christmas, our 26 year-old son has askED for his Pokémon games and old controllers that have been in storage for the past 10 years. He is studying for the bar exam after competing his law degree last year, and finds the games a relaxing distraction. Perhaps we would all be happier playing more games.”
Do you think you have what it takes to complete The Globe’s giant holiday crossword?
Download the puzzle here. Share your progress with us on social media using the hashtag #GlobeCrossword.
Did the kid in your life ask for a gift that made you laugh, stop you in your tracks or check their YouTube history this holiday season? Tell us all about it! Fill in the box below with their request and their age, or e-mail us the information at audience@globeandmail.com.
What was your kid's hilarious gift request?
Tell us what they asked for, and why it was so funny.