Illustration by Drew Shannon
First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines at tgam.ca/essayguide.
I’m seriously thinking of ending my relationship with Toronto’s major league sports teams. It’s been many years and, quite honestly, it’s not working for me any more. To be honest, it’s never really worked for me. Maybe that’s the root of the problem. It’s been a one-sided relationship from which I’ve rarely benefited. I’ve put in time, effort and money but I get very little back.
This past season (insert any year here) after more underwhelming performances, I just don’t care any more! I’m ready to go.
My relationship with the Maple Leafs, the Blue Jays and the Raptors has been going on much longer than my marriage or most other relationships in my life for that matter. But it begs the question, why should I stay in something that isn’t working? I’ve left previous relationships that weren’t working. I’ve found other jobs when the one I’m in stops being a good fit, and I’ve left food on my plate when I’ve had enough. So, why am I still hanging around these teams?
Sure, there were some good times. The Raptors reached the mountain top in 2019 – no relationship is all bad – but the simple fact is, when things get difficult Toronto’s teams just seem to go through the motions without really caring. I know these teams don’t care about me or if I stop being a fan. There will always be someone else to step in and cheer them on and buy their merchandise.
I’ve lost sleep watching these teams lose to seemingly inferior opponents during all the big games and am often left ruminating over what went wrong. Who needs this stress? There are far better things I can do with my time. So, I’m now seriously asking myself, why am I still in this relationship?
I’m not one to make rash decisions. I took some time to reflect on why people watch sports and commit to a team. I guess there are many reasons. It’s easy to follow something that emulates a theatre production: it can be entertaining for sure. As well as goals, hits, home runs, slam dunks and exciting plays, there are usually good guys, villains, tension and surprises.
Being a Toronto sports fan, in particular, provides a chance for emotional expression or outrage. My colourful vocabulary is on full display while watching the Jays and Leafs during the playoffs and the Raptors always seem to just leave me wanting more. If nothing else, watching these teams provides a frequent much-needed release.
Sports also gives us fans a sense of belonging. With the Jays and especially the Leafs, there’s always another disappointed fan out there like me with similar frustrations. The last Stanley Cup win for the Leafs was 1967, so there’s a huge community of angry and disappointed Leafs fans around to remind me that I’m not alone. And Jays’ fans can bond over blown leads, bad decisions and lost opportunities. Even when the Raptors are successful, I often feel a sense of impending doom, like it’s all going to come crashing down. My son and I have bonded over this for weeks this past summer, with car ride discussions that emulate sports talk shows.
Sports can also provide a great escape from everyday work and life stresses. Yet, with the Jays, Leafs and Raptors I’m not sure this is the case. I’m now perpetually stressed after watching these teams lose in a predictable way, yet again! In fact, the experience has added to my stress, with my high blood pressure and my cholesterol levels reflecting this. I can only blame diet and genetics so much. The rest I attribute to this unhealthy relationship I have with Toronto’s major teams.
They say time heals all wounds, Maybe some day the Jays and the Leafs in particular will demonstrate more passion, effort and commitment, and we can be friends. It will be like seeing an ex-girlfriend or partner at the movies: we’ll smile and wave and wish each other success.
So, I’ve made my decision. I’m resigning as a Toronto sports fan. I feel good about my decision and I’m excited about what lies ahead. Ending this relationship will free up a lot of time to do what’s important, like spending more time with my teenage son for as long as he wants me around. It’s also high time that I exercised for general health and not just as an outlet to work off my frustrations with the Jays, Leafs and Raptors.
Truth be told, I now find it more entertaining watching my son play sports than the pros. Maybe that’s a sign that it’s time to move on from Toronto’s underwhelming sports teams and end this strained relationship.
Bernie Goodman grew up in Toronto and lives in North Vancouver.