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Illustration by Marley Allen-Ash
Recently, a six-year-old looked at my 91-year-old limbs and proclaimed loudly, “You got marks all over your legs.”
I took a deep breath and said, “Yes, I do. They, are my medals.” She looked down at her perfect legs and said sadly. “I have no medals.”
I do not know why the idea of medals popped into my head, but when thinking about this interaction later, I decided seniors deserve medals for managing in today’s world. At a time in our lives when we find our physical strength, mental acuteness, memory and overall energy often diminishing we are expected to keep up in this constantly changing world. How to do it all with grace and calm? Here are some of the challenges I face that deserve medals.
Keeping my house and myself presentable
Recently my son Lawrence said, “Mom, when did you last have a cleaning lady?
“You are looking at her,” I said, then turned to my daughter-in-law who is always the diplomat and asked, “Is it really that bad?”
She said, “Get a cleaning lady.”
As we get older our vision is often compromised. Maybe we need to think about wearing our glasses all the time to optimize our vision. And I had a disturbing recollection. A few weeks ago, I was at a posh event with a friend who is 88 and still a practising architect. I noticed that there were small old pieces of food on the front of her elegant dress. Had she known she would have been mortified. We need to examine ourselves in large mirrors under very bright lights with our glasses on.
Moving to the country was the change I never knew I needed
Opening containers, everyday
I recently told a friend, “I will know it is time to give up living independently when I can no longer open a bottle of wine!” I have since hired a personal trainer, who comes once a month, and she has given me three new wrist and finger exercises which help with stubborn door handles as well as pill, food or bottle openings. Necklaces with tiny clasps, however, are history.
Cultural connections
Through the pandemic, we all experienced a cultural hiatus. So when the Jazz Festival returned to Ottawa, I wanted to get a season’s ticket and attend every evening as my husband and I did for more than 30 years. A widow for the past seven years, who no longer drives at night, I wondered how I might participate and enjoy the festival. I bravely bought a full ticket anyway and later arranged to meet with friends. Although, to my surprise, at times I found I did not mind sitting by myself. I left the festival every evening before dark, satisfied to have taken in several shows that started earlier, and listened to only two to three numbers of the later, main event.
How Scopa, the Italian card game, brought us closer together
Adapting to ever-changing technology
At the parking lot pay station, I struggled to find the slot to insert my parking ticket for payment as I have done in the past. I was on my way home and it was dark, and I was trying to stay calm but I was holding up a line of cars. Thankfully the pleasant, patient attendant came and rescued me. The ticket had to be scanned, it seems there is no more slot. I could only pay the $2 fee by credit card. I had the cash but not my credit card. I asked the gentleman in the car behind me in line to pay the $2 on his credit card and I would give him the money. He agreed. This digital world is constantly changing, and I am huffing and puffing to keep up.
Keeping socially connected
We are constantly reminded that meaningful social connections are of primary importance for our health and well-being. When I think back to the pandemic isolation, I realize that regular scheduled meetings were my anchor. I was fortunate that dear friends invited me to be in their bubble and to meet with them over dinner once a month. Another friend introduced and helped me get started playing bridge online. I was delighted, and this was a great start to building new social activities. I surprised myself when I boldly asked to join poetry and writing groups and I also reached out to people I barely knew to join me for walks. I was emboldened and to my surprise, no one refused my requests. My 17-year-old granddaughter asked me to be in a book club, just the two of us. We are still reading together, and she chooses the books.
I realize I am a lucky woman. It is much easier to adapt and even flourish when you have family and friends for support, but being recognized with a trophy or two wouldn’t hurt. Seniors deserve medals for attempting to stay in the game and be part of the action despite the reality of our constantly changing abilities and the ever-changing world we still live in.
Sheila Baslaw lives in Ottawa