When we face personal loss, setbacks, or are bombarded with stories of violence and hardship in the news, it can feel like a dark presence is taking over. Missed opportunities, disappointment and dread for the world’s future can overwhelm us, no matter how hard we try to distract ourselves. As a psychologist, I’ve noticed this recurring theme among my patients: many seek help to combat apathy and melancholy.
It’s crucial to distinguish between these typical human feelings and serious conditions such as clinical depression. Mental-health disorders exist on a spectrum, with symptoms deemed “clinical” when they reach a certain severity, frequency and duration. Red flags include thoughts of self-harm, maladaptive behaviours, daily low moods for a year, sudden mood changes, loss of interest in hobbies, excessive sleep and fatigue. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, seek professional help. A trained mental-health practitioner, such as a therapist, social worker or psychologist, can assist you.
If your feelings of apathy or melancholy don’t meet this definition but are still troubling, there are effective tools that can help you feel better. Psychologists are increasingly interested in fostering strategies that help individuals thrive and recover from negative experiences. Researchers such as Martin Seligman, Ann Masten and Angela Duckworth have focused on positive psychology, human resilience and grit. Polyvagal theory, introduced by Stephen Porges, deepens our understanding of how physiological states influence social behaviour and emotional regulation. Deb Dana’s concept of “glimmers” highlights the importance of recognizing and creating positive cues for well-being.
Here are strategies from this research that I find particularly useful in my clinical practice:
Don’t lose hope
Don’t give up on the possibility that you can feel better, and never, ever amplify the feelings of hopelessness in others. Think of hope as lighting a candle in the darkness. Creating hope is the first step to feeling better. To foster hope in yourself, practice gratitude, engage in positive self-talk and actively look for and create moments of “glimmer” – when we feel safe and calm – throughout your day, both for yourself and for others.
Rediscover a sense of wonder
Do you remember a time when you felt filled with wonder and awe? Often, this can be an experience in the natural world. Perhaps you saw the Northern Lights once, or you glanced upon a huge old-growth tree on Vancouver Island. Seek out those experiences again. Stroll through a forest or garden or walk along a beach. Sit and enjoy the laughter of children playing in a park. Rediscovering wonderful moments is essential for the soul.
Always have something to look forward to
Remember that we construct our lives. We have the power to deconstruct and reconstruct parts of our lives that are not working. Seek out new or novel activities, or plan to do something that once gave you pleasure. Try a new restaurant. Go to a public market. See a movie in a real theatre. Make a list of things you like to do – or would love to try – and ensure that you have an event every week to look forward to.
Exercise
The chemicals released during exercise are a powerful antidote to sadness and apathy. Exercise releases endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, which improve mood and reduce negative feelings. These natural antidepressants contribute to overall well-being. Set manageable exercise goals and start slow. Reward yourself when you meet your goals. Exercise need not be gruelling: yoga, brisk walks and bike rides are good places to start.
Take agency in connecting with others
Loneliness is a significant risk factor for melancholy, undermining emotional well-being and increasing feelings of sadness and depression. The COVID-19 lockdowns left many people in a state of loneliness. To counter this, take steps to construct the life you want. Join a book club, take dance or pottery lessons, call family members or old friends, and be open to meeting new people. Even just being around others is helpful. Engaging in social activities and maintaining connections through hobbies and relationships can release feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, reduce stress hormones such as cortisol, and provide a sense of purpose and connection, improving mental health and well-being. Go to a bookstore, enjoy a latte and people-watch. Remember, we are most resilient when in communion with others.
Immerse yourself in expressions of human creativity
When inundated with stories of cruelty from my patients, it can be hard to remember the goodness in the world. However, I don’t forget that goodness when I witness the best of human creativity. The arts – music, art, drama, dance and storytelling – help me appreciate the creative spark within us. Those who cultivate and share this spark are as important as doctors, lawyers and engineers, even if they don’t receive the same compensation. Their gifts are invaluable and perhaps the most powerful antidotes to apathy and melancholy. The arts provide emotional resonance, creative expression, purpose, mindfulness, community and inspiration.
Dr. Jillian Roberts is a research professor of educational psychology at the University of Victoria. She is also practicing registered psychologist in B.C. and Alberta. She specializes in child psychology, known for her expertise in navigating the complexities of children’s emotional and mental well-being.