“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” I thought, watching my two toddlers buzz around the room, jump on the beds and refuse to get into their pyjamas. An hour past their usual bedtime with no end in sight to the madness.
Hours earlier, my four-year-old had her first soccer game – and I use that term loosely. It felt like the first real night of the summer. I took in the warm night air with my mom friends as we cheered our older kids on and the little ones ate watermelon on the sidelines. And then, on the walk home, I announced – much to my future self’s regret – “let’s go for ice cream.”
The author's children, Lucy and Evie.Supplied
But then my sticky-handed children didn’t walk in the door until 7:45 p.m. – the time they would usually be falling asleep. They still needed a bath when the sugar rush kicked in, and I regretted everything. The next morning, everyone was sluggish, cranky and tired. Somehow they had woken up an hour early, despite going to bed nearly two hours later than usual. In that moment, I cursed summer.
As a mom of two girls who have each had their sleep struggles, the importance of a good night’s sleep has not been lost on me; I’ve read the countless studies highlighting the connection between mental health and sleep, and the long-term effects of sleep deprivation (for both adult and kid).
“Restorative sleep is so important, at all ages. I really don’t think I can underline it enough,” Holly Jefferd tells me. A behavioural therapist and sleep expert in Colborne, Ont., Jefferd says kids can still soak up all the magic of summer, even have a fun-mom ice cream trip now and then, and also get a good night’s sleep – with the right strategies.
“As our children get older, we do want to create those summer memories. We don’t want to say, ‘bedtime is strictly 6 p.m. or 7 p.m.’ because there’s a family barbecue or we’re up at a cottage or we have those extracurricular sports we want them to be involved in.”
She says flexibility can be achieved – and good sleep not lost – by shifting to what she calls “a summer schedule,” adjusting bed times and wake ups by an hour or two. So instead of throwing the kids right into pyjamas after a later summer night out, parents could just proceed with the regular routine – quiet time, bath time, reading books – and just accept that it will be a little later than usual.
Jefferd says sleep needs and summer flexibility can vary for kids, depending on their age. Spending time outside every day, having a predictable bedtime routine, a cool bedroom (20-21 degrees C) and limiting screen time – especially two or three hours before bedtime – are important for all kids’ sleep.
An after-dinner walk to the park will often be tempting in the summertime, to try to get the most of the beautiful night and allow young kids to expend as much energy as possible. “But it’s still daylight outside, and daylight tells us to stay awake, it controls our circadian rhythm. So if a toddler is really having trouble sleeping, I’d tell the parents to focus on darkening the house in the hour before bed – closing the blinds, get the blackout shades in the bedroom, dim lights, and really having that wind-down hour in a darkened environment.”
For school-aged kids, between five and 12, summer schedules may be hectic with camps and sports and get-togethers with friends. “At this age, the child will probably have stopped napping,” Jefferd says, but having quiet time in between all of the summer magic can prevent them from becoming overwhelmed. “They don’t have to sleep in the day, but they will still benefit from quiet time – just reading in their room, building something with their blocks, drawing a picture, just those activities to really reset and regulate themselves.”
She says this age group often struggles with no screen time before bed, and she hears (even from her own kids) that they want to play video games or watch a show after being busy all day. “The blue light from screens is so damaging to sleep – we just give a hard no to any kind of screen after dinner. We need to be winding down, and connecting with each other.”
For teenagers, things get a little trickier because they’re harder to control and bedtimes can get out of hand without school. “It’s making sure they’re not staying up till 2 a.m. and sleeping until 2 p.m.” She says encouraging teenagers to have a predictable bedtime routine – wash their face, brush their teeth, read a book in bed – just like when they were younger, helps quality and quantity of sleep.
“Still, they’re teenagers, they may not do it,” Jefferd laughs. Teens can have serious “FOMO” or fear of missing out. Watch out for burnout in the summer, and encourage your teen to say no to plans with friends when they’re tired. Let them know “it’s okay to catch up on things when your body isn’t feeling right,” she says.
Perhaps most importantly, parents should remember to plan for a “back on track” night when summer schedules get hectic and kids’ sleep gets wonky. So when a fun-mom ice cream night makes for a terrible night of sleep, it’s just a one-off and not a routine. “That way, you know those nights are going to come and you’re just going to work through them.”
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