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Actor Zachary Quinto allegedly yelled at staff at Manita in Toronto.Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images

There’s nothing unusual about a VIP behaving badly in a restaurant. A century of telling customers they are always right has empowered the worst kind of diners. That’s partly why every stressed out diner, who’s already angry because they couldn’t find parking nearby, feels entitled to transfer their hostility onto hosts, servers and bartenders – workers trying to do their jobs in stressful environments, where their income depends on tipping and subservience.

So, when I heard about actor Zachary Quinto, who has starred in TV series Heroes and multiple Star Trek films, allegedly yelling at staff at Manita in Toronto, I was not surprised. What’s less common is what followed – a restaurant publicizing the incident through social-media.

“To all the other Zachary Quintos out there, on behalf of restaurant workers everywhere: We aren’t above criticism, but we are above being demeaned,” read Manita’s Instagram post about the incident.

According to the post, which generously identifies Quinto as “an amazing Spock, but a terrible customer,” the actor didn’t respond to texts informing him his table was ready, then took his frustrations out on the host when he was told the empty tables in the restaurant weren’t available to him. This is a frequent conflict; people want their tables, when they want them, and are unwilling to devote mental energy to imagining the restaurant is holding those seats for others.

This type of diner might see a busy restaurant and imagine the business is printing money, but every eatery is currently struggling with skyrocketing food and labour costs. They are fighting for profitability even while there is a perception that their menu is too expensive. Between 2019 to 2023, menu prices in Canada rose an average of 18.5 per cent, while the average cheque for full-service restaurants only grew by 12.7 per cent. So even if diners are paying more, revenue has failed to keep pace with increasing costs.

Every no-show is money out of restaurant pockets, regardless of how important the guest thinks they are.

Though banning Quinto has drawn international attention, Manita co-owner Ian McGrenaghan says he’s more concerned with drawing a red line for entitled, abusive behaviour from customers.

“I’d gladly trade all this publicity to ensure that none of my staff are reduced to tears by being yelled at,” McGrenaghan tells me.

Plenty of old-school restaurateurs believe they owe diners a hotelier’s discretion, that even the most reprehensible behaviour from guests deserves to be kept in confidence. Personally, I wish more felt comfortable informing troublemakers they shouldn’t come back. Too often, restaurateurs feel under the thumb of unpleasant diners who treat staff badly or leave spiteful online reviews.

I’d like to see retaliation like McGrenaghan’s more often, but understand why it can’t happen. Though anyone can legally post a hurtful and financially damaging restaurant review on Yelp or Google, a restaurant that publicly criticizes a customer exposes itself to a defamation suit.

It’s sad when these conflicts boil over because most customers are wonderful and appreciative. A small portion are monsters whose favourite part of dining is paying for the right to be cruel to service staff. But there’s a sizable contingent who don’t know they’re behaving badly – the would-be Larry Davids.

Curb Your Enthusiasm character Larry David (played by the creator of the show of the same name) seems to find endless conflict in the rules enforced by restaurants and never considers that a server is not in a position to playfully argue with a wealthy, famous diner. Recently, while researching a piece about why the character hates restaurants, I catalogued 38 restaurants feuds from the show, and that was before I finished watching the last season.

The show has keenly identified common frustrations diners have, such as being told they can’t have a table that looks empty or be seated unless their whole party has arrived or pick up food from the pass because they think it’s theirs. I think these stories click with audiences because restaurant diners are divided between people who love to hate Larry, a puppet-show villain we can jeer as he treats employees with a rudeness we never would, and people who are just like him, those who subconsciously hold restaurants and their employees in contempt for daring to ever say no.

Here’s the reality check: When they text that our table is ready and you’ve got a 15-minute grace period, they mean it. Every time I write about restaurant economics, I hear from people who refuse to believe the numbers: the 74 per cent turnover rate of staff, the 3 to 5 per cent average profit margin. If that were true, the skeptics argue, why would anyone be in this business? These are the people who think nothing of making three reservations on a Saturday night and ghosting on two, or who speak rudely to servers when everything is not as they expect. These are the people who leave those spiteful one-star reviews. Whenever I hear from this cohort, the commonality is that, like Larry, they perceive restaurants are somehow cheating them.

Yes, McGrenaghan’s post about Quinto taps into our collective smugness of feeling morally superior to a poorly behaved celebrity. But it also sends the message to diners that spending money doesn’t buy them the privilege of demeaning people who serve them.

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