Gretchen Rubin had a wakeup call at the eye doctor and decided she needed to dig into her physical body more.Illustration by Photo illustration by The Globe and Mail
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Human beings tend to take their five senses pretty much for granted. Unless, of course, something goes wrong – only then do we fully appreciate how much our ability to see, touch, smell, taste and hear enriches the world around us.
New York Times bestselling author and podcaster Gretchen Rubin had that wake-up call recently after a routine visit to her eye doctor, where she was warned that nearsightedness put her at greater risk of a detached retina – which could damage her sight. As she walked home that day, the author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies realized it had been years since she had truly noticed the Manhattan streetscape she loved so much. So, she decided to pay attention.
She marvelled at the luminous grey sky above the buildings and some frilly purple leaves of ornamental kale. She took in the heady scents of car exhaust, marijuana and honey-roasted peanuts. And she listened to the cacophony of sounds that are quintessential New York – the sirens, jackhammers, horns and shouts. “Never before had I experienced the world in such intensity,” Rubin writes in the introduction to her latest book, Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses got Me Out of My Head and Into the World. “It was extraordinary.”
That moment of clarity inspired Rubin to fully immerse herself in the physical world. She visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art every day for months, to see if each visit would reveal something new. She ate dinner in the dark, collected tiny inanimate objects in her favourite colour (scarlet), did a sound bath, went to a flavour university and much more. In the end, all these experiments quite literally made her come to her senses.
Rubin talked to The Globe and Mail about how this deep dive into the sensory world taught her to “live in the moment” and made her life more layered, meaningful and, frankly, more interesting.
What was it specifically about that visit to the eye doctor that shook you up?
I have been studying happiness for a long time and I thought I was a fairly self-aware person. However, I also always knew something was missing, that there was some puzzle piece that I had not figured out. That unforgettable walk home revealed the answer: I’d been treating my body like the car my brain was driving around town, but my body wasn’t some vehicle of my soul, to be overlooked when it wasn’t breaking down. My body – through my senses – was my essential connection to the world and to other people.
Did you learn something about our five senses that surprised you?
Most of us assume our sensory world is the same as everyone else’s. That is not true. I can walk into a home, for instance, and smell air freshener so strong it makes my eye water. My husband can walk into that same home and not notice a thing. Or I’ll walk into a restaurant and want to leave because I can’t hear myself think, and my girlfriends won’t notice how loud the music is. There is no right way or wrong way. It all comes down to our genetics, preferences and our sensitivities.
A key part of your research was the daily ritual of visiting the Met. Why was this such a profound exercise for you?
I’ve always been drawn to repetition, familiarity and the possibilities that are unveiled when you do things over and over. I thought visiting the same place every day was idiosyncratic, but I’ve since talked to a lot of people who have the same impulse. People who forest bathe go to the same sit spot to contemplate that place over and over. Others walk their dog along the same route each day because they find it fascinating to pick up on subtle differences that happen over time. Through the ritual, you also become aware of how you’re changing too. I find in life, you get more from it when you bring more to it. And that was the case with the Met – it’s changed. I’ve changed. I still go every day. I love it.
You developed a quiz for people to determine their most neglected sense. What is yours?
We all have a sense that we least often turn to for pleasure or comfort and mine is hearing. I’ve never been the type of person who likes to have music playing in the background, especially when I’m working – I prefer quiet – however I realized that I could do things to better cultivate my sense of hearing. One of the things I did was compile an audio apothecary of some of my all-time favourite songs, the ones that make me relax or make me feel happy. When I need a pick-me-up I might play Dolly Parton’s Mule Skinner Blues or You Really Got Me by the Kinks.
I also started paying closer attention to what the people I love are actually saying, which has made me a better listener. For example, I realized my husband will raise an important or sensitive topic and then immediately change the subject. This is his way of managing something that makes him anxious. I used to get angry, and now I bite my tongue. I was only able to recognize this pattern when I stopped talking and began to listen more actively. Our family conversations are now more constructive, and also more tender, because I’m not barging in with my own point of view.
How does tapping into our senses make us happier people?
I have all kinds of little tricks. When I need a quick jolt of energy, I have a whole smell collection. One smell is called Black March – it’s like if you were out in a frozen field in March – and it invigorates me. Smell, for me, is an excellent pathway to mindfulness and connection. I also have my favourite things to touch that instantly make me feel good. I love anything velvet or satiny. So I’ll rub my hands on a beautiful velvet cushion that’s been in our apartment for years. I even found a sunscreen (Unseen Sunscreen) whose silky texture is amazing. I had to stop myself from using the whole bottle, I loved the feel of it so much!
Are you a happier person these days?
Before I was living in a kind of fog of my own preoccupation. Now, being attuned to my senses, and giving myself these healthy little treats, helps me feel energized, cared for and has deepened my connection to other people and to myself.
This interview has been edited and condensed.