Social media is fuelling teenage spending. But some parents are fighting back, setting limits and teaching restraint

For April Stroink, the frustration mounts when yet another Amazon box arrives at the door – or her daughter comes home with a $7 Starbucks beverage in hand.

“They constantly see this ‘Keeping Up with the Joneses’ [mentality] on steroids, and it’s constantly fed to them,” says Ms. Stroink, who has two children, Zofia, 17, and Anneke, who just turned 20. “Their self-worth is really wrapped up in these brand names – and I think the whole influencer culture is really misleading them.”

Like many parents, Ms. Stroink, a Halifax-based money coach, has watched with alarm as social media has created a cult following of stores from Sephora to Nike.

“If they see a friend is posting on Instagram that they got the Air Force Ones they feel really bad,” she says.

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With many teenagers today spending vast amounts of time online on social-media sites such as TikTok, YouTube and Snapchat, there’s no doubt these platforms are influencing their spending. Nearly half – 48 per cent – of Canadian teens surveyed say they are more likely to buy based on social-media recommendations, according to a 2023 survey from Mydoh, an RBC-backed money-management app aimed at kids.

And that’s leading to tense conversations about budgeting and debt – and familial battles over spending and credit-card bills.

While some parents find it easier to capitulate and buy their teenagers what they want – and what they see their peers buying, others are choosing to educate their children early on, discussing finances and setting boundaries around spending. Now that their children are in their late teens, they’re seeing some progress.

“Delayed gratification and self-control can be challenging at times” with teens, says Angelique de Montbrun, the chief operating officer of Mydoh, in Toronto.

Canada has the highest level of household debt to disposable income of any G7 country, according to Statistics Canada, which means that Canadians owe $1.85 for every dollar they earn.

In Ms. Stroink’s family, she’s made the choice to pay for items with cash – to avoid relying on credit cards and taking on debt. Her daughter Anneke uses prepaid credit cards such as a KOHO which allows her to establish a good credit history without incurring debt.

When parents make bad financial decisions, their kids see that, Ms. Stroink says. “And so the money story that teens see played out in the home becomes their money story.”

It is also found in Mydoh’s survey that 60 per cent say they are influenced by how their parents manage money.

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Zahir Toth, a mom and semi-retired senior executive assistant in Simcoe County, Ont., has instituted rules around shopping in her home. She says she caved and bought her daughter the Aritzia $500 super puff coat several years ago, but she’s also introduced her daughter to thrifting.

Ms. Toth says her daughter, now 20, has become a savvier shopper; while she still shops for brand-name items, the amount she spends has dropped off. “You have to teach respect for money.”

Ms. De Montbrun says that parents need to have frequent conversations with their teenagers around future financial consequences. “It’s being able to have a conversation in a non-judgmental way,” she says.

Another suggestion she made is for parents to introduce teens to the 24-hour rule, essentially “walking away from something for 24 hours before buying and really reflecting if you need it.”

Darren Coleman, a senior portfolio manager, private client group, with Coleman Wealth at Raymond James Ltd. in Oakville Ont., says parents should help kids manage their finances.

To help his 19-year-old daughter manage her spending, Mr. Coleman created a budgeting system where she only had to manage three broad categories while she was away at school: school-related expenses required as part of her program, transportation costs and other day-to-day expenses.

“She had to stay within a specific dollar amount for each category – and every month we’d review,” he says.

Mr. Coleman says the process has led his daughter to make better choices. “It made her think ‘You want a McFlurry? Maybe you don’t get a new lipstick.’”

After much dialogue around budgets and boundaries, Ms. Stroink’s daughters set financial goals. Both girls have money set aside in high-interest savings accounts and have part-time jobs, which makes them think twice when buying “that $80 sweater at Urban Outfitters,” Ms. Stroink says.

“Times have changed,” she says. “As parents, we need to support our children.”

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