Some trip costs are easy to figure out, such as plane tickets and entry fees to attractions. Other expenses though can be tricker. Do you ask for a contribution for the car rental? What about the Airbnb or hotel?AleksandarNakic/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
When taking a trip with your kids, inviting your child’s friend on vacation with you is a win-win: the kids have fun together and the parents get more down time.
There are some things to think about before embarking on this adventure though, including who will pay for what – before, during and after the trip – and how to keep that from getting awkward. The kids will probably be in their teens at this point, but it’s still up to the parents to sort out the details.
As with most things, it comes down to communicating expectations. The two sets of parents need to have a frank conversation ahead of time where they talk about what the inviting parents will pay for, what the friend’s parents will pay for, and how you’ll manage the money during the trip.
As the inviting parent, it’s your job to initiate this conversation and spell out what your expectations are. Decide whether you want to foot the bill for the other child’s expenses – or whether you expect the other parents to pay for all or part of it.
It’s OK to ask the parents to cover all of their kid’s costs – you’re not being cheap. Taking another kid on vacation is already a big responsibility – and is a really nice gesture for the other family – so you shouldn’t feel obligated to bear the financial cost.
Some trip costs are easy to figure out, such as plane tickets and entry fees to attractions. Other expenses though can be tricker. Do you ask for a contribution for the car rental? What about the Airbnb or hotel?
The best way to determine how much the visiting kid should contribute is to ask yourself how much they are adding to the costs. If you were going to rent a car, anyway, asking them to pitch in for the rental and for gas means they are actually subsidizing your own family vacation. That’s a bit tacky.
But if you would normally need only a two-bedroom rental but now need three bedrooms because of the extra person, then it’s fair to charge the difference between the smaller and bigger place.
While you’re on the trip, it’s easiest for everyone if you just look after paying the bills. Make it seamless by including the visiting child’s costs with yours – pay for meals and attractions on one bill. It also might alleviate any nervousness the other parents feel about letting their child travel with cash or cards they are not used to handling, particularly if there is an unfamiliar exchange rate to navigate.
When I took my son’s friend with us to Costa Rica earlier this year, I made it easy on myself by taking five minutes at the end of each day to make a note of how much he “spent” that day. That meant that I didn’t have to pore over all of the receipts when I got home, which is not a fun way to end a holiday. I simply sent an e-mail to the other parent after the trip outlining their child’s costs.
Then there’s the tricky issue of the budget. Your idea of what to spend on vacation might not match up with the other family’s budget. Talk about it. Explain how you like to spend while on vacation and find out what they are comfortable with.
This is also an excellent opportunity to talk about other ground rules for the vacation. How late can they stay out? Are they allowed to go out without another parent? Will they carry spending money with them? Conversations like this are essential if you want to have a frictionless trip, maintain good relations with the other family and not blow your budget.
Setting expectations with the kids is also a good idea. On day one of the trip when you sit down for your first dinner together, set some guidelines, for example, limiting the entrée to $20 or less. Kids like knowing the boundaries. It makes decisions easier for them and they won’t be guessing about whether they can order the filet mignon.
To fully revel in your vacation with the kids, get the financial details sorted out ahead of time. Make sure everyone is on the same page – to make it easier for you, the kids and the other family. You’re going to create a memorable experience for everyone – so enjoy it.
Anita Bruinsma is a Toronto-based financial coach and a parent of two teenage boys. You can find her at Clarity Personal Finance.
