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stars and dogs

Tesla Inc. (DOG)

TSLA - Nasdaq

The good news for Tesla Inc. investors is that Elon Musk finally unveiled a prototype of the long-awaited Cybercab. The bad news? It will be years – if ever – before a fleet of the autonomous electric vehicles hits the road. At an event dubbed “We, Robot,” Mr. Musk said he expects that the Cybercab – which has no streering wheel or pedals – will retail for less than US$30,000 and begin production “in, probably, well, I tend to be a little optimistic with timelines, but in 2026. So, yeah, before 2027.” The uncertain launch date – combined with scant details regarding regulatory approvals or how Tesla plans to catch up to Alphabet’s Waymo, which already has driverless taxis on the road in several cities – sent the stock plunging. As analysts at Jeffries put it: “We, underwhelmed.”

Toronto-Dominion Bank (DOG)

TD - TSX

There once was a bank named Toronto-Dominion

Which was bad, very bad, if you want my opinion

No, there is nothing funny

About laundering money

Or coughing up fines totalling more than US$3-billion

A&W Revenue Royalties Income Fund (STAR)

AW.UN - TSX

Test your business knowledge! Shares of A&W Revenue Royalties Income Fund rose after a) the fund announced that shareholders of record on Oct. 15 will receive a coupon for a free Teen-Burger combo, triggering a surge in buy orders that briefly crashed the Toronto Stock Exchange; b) TV cameras spotted Justin Bieber at a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game holding a mug of A&W root beer; c) unitholders of the royalty fund voted 99.2-per-cent in favour of merging it with the operating company, A&W Food Services of Canada Inc., to create a new publicly-traded restaurant chain. Answer: c.

Bird Construction Inc. (STAR)

BDT - TSX

True to its name, Bird Construction Inc. keeps soaring to new highs. Citing “considerable momentum” in its diversified construction business and “significant tailwinds stemming from our strategic focus on higher-margin and economically resilient sectors,” the company projected that organic revenue will grow at a compound annual rate of about 10 per cent from 2025 through 2027. Adding to investors’ cheer, Bird announced a 50-per-cent increase to its dividend, which will rise to 7 cents a month or 84 cents on an annual basis. With the stock more than doubling this year, this Bird is laying some golden eggs.

Symbotic Inc. (STAR)

SYM - Nasdaq

Robots have many advantages over humans. They never ask for vacation days or overtime. They won’t try to unionize. And they won’t throw out their back lifting heavy items in the warehouse. That’s where companies like Symbotic Inc. come in. Shares of the AI-powered robotics company surged after it announced agreements with Walmart’s Mexican and South American subsidiary to provide warehouse automation systems for two distribution centres being built near Mexico City. “The systems transform distribution centres for increased efficiency, capacity, and worker safety, enabling faster shipments to stores and increased inventory accuracy,” Symbotic said. Also, robots don’t eat or drink much at the office Christmas party, further reducing costs.

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