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stars and dogs

Toronto-Dominion Bank (STAR)

TD - TSX

Are you a criminal looking to launder a suitcase full of cash? Well, don’t even think about bringing your dirty money into a Toronto-Dominion Bank branch, because there’s a new sheriff in town. In a move widely seen as an attempt to move past a U.S. money-laundering scandal for which TD faces billions in potential fines, Canada’s second-largest bank announced that Raymond Chun, currently head of Canadian personal banking, will succeed Bharat Masrani as chief executive, effective in April. The succession plan is “an auspicious sign for TD’s outlook,” Matthew Lee, an analyst with Canaccord Genuity, said in a note. Judging by the rebound in TD’s formerly struggling stock price, investors agree.

S&P/TSX Composite Index (STAR)

TXCX

Reasons to love Canada: 1) More hockey sticks per capita than guns; 2) No need to get on a bus to another province to obtain health care; 3) Interest rates that are falling fast. Even before the U.S. Federal Reserve slashed its benchmark interest rate by a half-point this week, the Bank of Canada had announced three consecutive quarter-point cuts, helping to drive the S&P/TSX Composite Index to a string of record highs. Adding to the cheer, Canada’s inflation rate fell to just 2 per cent in August, hitting the central bank’s target and likely paving the way for further interest-rate reductions. This calls for a glass of maple syrup.

Intuitive Machines Inc. (STAR)

LUNR - Nasdaq

Here’s a stock that really is going to the moon. Shares of Intuitive Machines Inc. blasted higher after NASA awarded the Houston-based company a contract, worth up to US$4.82-billion, to build and deploy a constellation of lunar satellites. Intuitive’s network will provide a range of services – including video data transmission, navigation, mapping and logistics – to support NASA’s Artemis moon exploration program. With any luck, the company will find the answers to some critical scientific questions, such as whether there really is a man living up there, and what sort of cheese the moon is made of.

BCE Inc. (DOG)

BCE - TSX

Business quiz! Shares of BCE Inc. initially rose, but later fell, after the company: a) unveiled a new “Bundle ‘n’ Binge” deal, consisting of Bell Fibe TV, Netflix, Crave TV and 24/7 home delivery of unlimited soft drinks and potato chips for $199.99 a month; b) sold the CTV Television Network to Rupert Murdoch, who plans to rebrand it as Fox News North; c) agreed to sell its 37.5-per-cent interest in Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment – owner of the NHL’s Maple Leafs, NBA’s Raptors, CFL’s Argonauts and MLS’s Toronto FC – to Rogers Communications Inc. for $4.7-billion, which would increase Rogers’s ownership of MLSE to 75 per cent. Answer: c.

Tupperware Brands Corp. (DOG)

TUP - NYSE

There once was a company called Tupperware

Whose plastic containers were once everywhere

But no one was smiling

When a bankruptcy filing

Stopped the Tupperware party right then and there

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