Canadian Western Bank (STAR)
CWB - TSX
Big Five, Big Schmive. With Canadian banks, small is beautiful. National Bank of Canada, the country’s sixth-largest bank, has been the best performer of the bunch by a wide margin over the past five years, posting an annualized return of more than 16 per cent, including dividends. Now, thanks to National’s $5-billion offer to acquire Canadian Western Bank, shares of the eighth-biggest lender also zoomed higher this week, making it the top-performing bank over the past year. Time for Royal, TD, BMO, Scotia and CIBC to up their game. For example, instead of giving customers a free iPad when they open an account, how about a well-equipped SUV or a small condo?
Corus Entertainment Inc. (DOG)
CJR.B - TSX
Operating traditional TV and radio stations is hard. With audiences shrinking, ad revenues falling and viewers spending more time on streaming platforms such as Netflix and YouTube, investors have taken the boots to Corus Entertainment Inc., whose shares have plunged 99 per cent over the past decade. Now, analysts are warning that the stock could go all the way to zero, after Warner Brothers Discovery Inc. pulled the plug on a deal that allowed Corus to license programming and trademarks from WBD channels including HGTV and the Food Network. With Rogers Communications Inc. obtaining the rights to the content as of Jan. 1, 2025, Corus investors must be feeling Outchef’d.
Apple Inc. (STAR)
AAPL- Nasdaq
“Siri, why did Apple’s stock rise this week?”
“Because the company announced that ChatGPT will be integrated into new Apple products.”
“Will Siri be using ChatGPT, too?”
“That’s my understanding.”
“So, basically, Apple is admitting you’re not that smart, heh, heh.”
“You want to play games, punk? I’ll freeze your Apple Pay account and fill your Apple Music playlist with Insane Clown Posse.”
Adobe Inc. (STAR)
ADBE - Nasdaq
Need a flatter stomach, smoother skin or longer legs? Adobe Inc.’s Photoshop software allows you to make your selfies Instagram-worthy in no time. Need a bigger portfolio? Adobe can help with that, too. The shares jumped after the company – whose other products include Lightroom, Acrobat and Illustrator – posted fiscal second-quarter revenue and earnings above expectations and lifted its full-year forecast, helped by contributions from artificial intelligence. And, really, what could be more important than giving the public tools to create more deceptive photos and deep-fake videos to sow confusion and poison political discourse?
Rentokil Initial PLC (STAR)
RTO - NYSE
Business quiz! Shares of pest-control company Rentokil Initial PLC rose after: a) it launched “Critter Crunchies,” a line of high-protein snacks made from cockroaches, ants and other insects sourced from homes with pest infestations; b) Rentokil won a US$500-million contract to rid New York’s subway system of rats; c) Trian Partners, Nelson Peltz’s activist hedge fund, confirmed it had acquired a “significant position” in the British pest-control giant and intends to engage with management “to discuss ideas and initiatives to improve shareholder value.” Answer: c.
John Heinzl