Spotted: The world’s worst homemade spoiler

Designing an effective automotive spoiler usually calls for extensive wind tunnel testing. Or you could just buy some pressure-treated lumber at Home Depot and see how it goes. Reader Wolfgang Pollmann spotted this masterpiece a while ago at Preston Crossing Mall, in Saskatoon.

As you may know, spoilers are designed to keep a car stuck to the road by developing negative lift. This requires that you set the leading edge lower than the trailing edge. Or you could do it like this guy, so your car’s tail lifts off the ground as speed builds. With any luck, the screws will pull out before you crash.

Although Porsche built its name on rear-engine, air-cooled cars like the classic 911, the German maker knew that survival depended on diversifying its lineup. The 924 coupe, which was produced between 1976 and 1988, set the pattern for future cars like the Panamera, with a front-mounted, water-cooled engine that tamed handling and reduced emissions. The 924 was also the first Porsche to be offered with a fully-automatic transmission. I spotted this one in Toronto.

When the 924 came to the market, car manufacturers were wrestling with newly mandated safety items like impact-absorbing bumpers. The 924’s protruding, beam-style front end was typical of the period. So were the flip-up headlights.

The Cadillac Allante is an odd duck. It was produced between 1986 and 1993 as part of a partnership with Pininfarina, an Italian coachbuilding firm noted for designing a series of iconic cars, including the Alfa Romeo Giuletta Spider. Allante bodies were built at Pininfarina’s Italian plant, then shipped to Detroit in specially equipped Boeing 747 freight planes for final assembly at a GM factory. I spotted this gold Allante at the Gentry Lane classic car dealership, in Toronto.

The Allante’s interior takes you on a trip to the late 1980’s, when angular shapes and analog switchgear were the order of the day.

Digital controls have dramatically reduced the number of buttons and switches in a modern car. The Allante’s power-seat controls are a reminder of the way things used to be.

Jeeps make no sense in an urban environment, but they do have their own rugged allure. Should the zombie apocalypse befall us, a four-wheel-drive vehicle with locker differentials and massive ground clearance could make all the difference. I spotted this heavily accessorized Wrangler in Mississauga.

That black pipe on the side of the windshield is an intake snorkel that directs air to the engine. This allows you to ford streams so deep that your engine is submerged. If you live in Canada’s largest urban center, you may not be using this feature on a regular basis.