The street I live on is a typical city one-way route. From April to November, there is parking on the east side from the first of the month until the 15th, and from the 16th until the end of the month it is on the west side. You might get ticketed for parking on the wrong side overnight. I have never seen anyone ticketed for parking on the wrong side during the day.
And so, people park wherever they please. The street signs declaring the parking regulations are so richly fictitious they could win the Scotiabank Giller Prize. Delivery drivers pull over and straddle the sidewalk. Shoppers park on the wrong side. On a typical day, there will be between five and 15 vehicles illegally parked on my street, often bumper to bumper. The result is a narrow valley with cars protruding on both sides that drivers must carefully navigate. This cavern can be so tight that it feels like you’re Luke Skywalker flying through the meridian trench getting ready to discharge your proton torpedoes. Think of these transgressors as “Parking Poachers.”
It’s a minor irritation, but a constant one and, like an itch one can’t scratch, it grows more annoying as it persists.
The driving realm is full of such irritations.
They aren’t drastic enough to elicit action, but they are frequent enough to grind down even the sunniest of dispositions. They drive me, who does not possess such a disposition, to distraction. Here are a few of the most common variety.
Are there limits to how many people from one house can park on the street?
Close Parkers: Everyone hates a driver who occupies two parking spaces. The “close parker” doesn’t go that far. Instead, they roll into a parking spot leaving a swath of free space on the drivers’ side and almost none on the passenger side. If you are unlucky enough to be parked to the right of said vehicle, then you will find opening your drivers’ side door extremely difficult, if not impossible. On more than one occasion, I have had to enter my car from the passenger side. You know, the more I think about it, close parking seems less like a borderline minor irritation. It could go major very easily.
Bike Blockers: In most of the nation it is legal to turn right on a red light. There are cyclists, however, who thwart this action. Rather than wait at the curb (in the lane or in the bike lane) they perch many feet into the intersection, often in the middle of the pedestrian crossing, and make it impossible to execute a right turn. It’s a minor aggravation. It’s not as irritating as cars that park in bike lanes, which is both dangerous and annoying, but it is unquestionably irritating.
Dukes of Hazard: These drivers use their hazard lights as if they were a cloak of invincibility. They are a get-out-of-jail-free card. Want to park in a handicapped spot? Bike lane? In the middle of rush-hour traffic? Anywhere parking is prohibited? Need a coffee and don’t want to find a parking space? No problem. Just press the magic red triangle button. Fire up those flashing beauties and get on with your day. Your hazard lights tell the world, “I’m just breaking the law for a while.”
Back Brakers: While not technically parking, “back braking” occurs when a vehicle that is stopped at a red light, decides to reverse. Usually, this happens when they get dirty looks for blocking a pedestrian crosswalk (a major irritation). They back up and come within inches of hitting your car. Only the blare of your horn alerts them to the fact there is a vehicle behind them. Occasionally, this fails, and they make contact. The minor irritation becomes a real fender bender.
There you have it. Nothing major – no one is being hurt – but when you add these minor parking irritations up they can get under your skin. Can anything be done to lessen their frequency? Yes. That would require drivers to be more considerate. Will anything be done? No. Never.