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Dear Aspiring Drivers,

First, the good news: There is absolutely no chance you will be receiving a speeding ticket in the near future.

Now, the bad news.

At the present rate, you’re unlikely to earn your drivers’ license before the year 2021. You know, scratch that – if I’m being honest, you’ll be lucky to get it by 2022 (around 50 per cent of people fail their first time). Like everything else in this crazy, mixed-up year, you can credit COVID-19, or “the Rona” as it’s known among the smart set. When the world shut down in March, Canada’s drivers’ test centres shut down with it.

Now, they’re finally reopening, and the wait times are excruciating.

Take British Columbia, for instance. When the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia (ICBC) recommenced administering tests on Aug. 24, its site had so much traffic it crashed. Hopeful drivers are finding they can’t book a test until January, 2021. There are so few openings in the Vancouver region that some are travelling to the far reaches in order to take a driving test. Global News reported that one mother took her 17-year-old son on an 800-kilometre road trip from Langley to Cranbrook in order to land a test sometime before the dawn of a new millennium. On Sept. 8, Ontario’s DriveTest centres resumed full capacity. Prior to that, those looking to renew their licenses had to wait for hours just to get a chance to book.

When it comes to environments with the potential for the transmission of COVID-19, a driving test is right up there with licking the handles on a subway car or walking around in an “I Heart Coughing” T-shirt. It’s no wonder that test centres were closed and that reintroducing their services has been an arduous process.

If you live in a city with a public transit system, the delays are a nuisance – a horrible, horrible nuisance. If you live in a rural community, they can be a substantial impediment to earning a living. Someone living in Toronto can still get to and from work, albeit in a very stressful way. They can take the TTC with other virus-paranoid masked commuters, as well as those suffering from homelessness and mental illnesses who are seeking some kind of temporary shelter. If this experience was a paint colour, it would be called “Sorrowful Kitten.”

If, however, you live in the Kootenays, southern Saskatchewan or northern Ontario or any other area that doesn’t have that much public transit to offer, a car is a must. It’s a lifeline. Potential drivers are not just losing the chance to go for a spin, they’re losing the chance for employment. This suggestion won’t be popular, but the provinces might consider giving preference to those who live in rural areas when it comes to booking. Why should someone living in Castlegar have to wait because city folks are coming in to take their tests?

This may be a good time to consider whether our current systems are optimal. Do we really need folks to be masterful parallel parkers? I love that manoeuvre, but it isn’t necessary for modern driving. On Aug. 31, the OPP pulled over a 17-year-old driving at 198 km/h on a stretch of the 401 near Kingston. We can assume that kid passed the parallel-parking portion of the exam. I think it would have been much better to make sure he aced the “don’t drive 198 km/h” part.

In March, Georgia Governor Brian Kemp issued an executive order that rescinded the on-road driving-test requirement for obtaining a license. All potential drivers needed was to pass a written exam, and those under 18 needed to have 12 months of clean driving on their learner’s permit. The order was met with widespread condemnation, and it was soon revoked. Those who earned their licenses without passing the practical on-road test will be required to do so within the year.

What does this do for you, aspiring Canadian driver? Apart from wishing Canada was a little more like Georgia, not much. You’ll just have to wait. Patience is a virtue – one you will need in an inexhaustible supply once you finally get your license.

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