He blew by me going at least 75 kilometres per hour. We were both driving south on Bayview Ave. toward Rosedale Valley Rd. in Toronto. On this stretch, the speed limit drops abruptly from 60 kilometres per hour to 40 in a construction zone and on a long stretch between traffic lights. It is also one of Toronto’s most frequent speed traps, a place where police officers with radar give pretty yellow pieces of paper to motorists who fail to adhere to the posted speed limit. I drew an anticipatory breath. It was my most fervent hope that I would find the F1 wannabe pulled over getting this treatment.
Alas, no such luck. He was gone and there was no speed trap to be found. I was crestfallen. I’d seen the crime. Where was the punishment?
I’ve passed this speed trap many times. I’ve seen other speeders pulled over. Is it so much to ask, that just once, I see an egregious offender committing the infraction and getting his comeuppance?
A screen capture from Google Maps shows a police officer at the same spot Andrew Clark was hoping to see one after a driver flew by him at well over the speed limit on this stretch of Bayview Ave. in Toronto.Jordan Chittley/The Globe and Mail
There should be a word to describe this emotion – the puritanical desire to see another driver caught by the traps you know are out there. The German language does a splendid job of covering such territory. There is “Schadenfreude,” which is taking pleasure in another’s misfortune. German, however, has lots more. There’s a word to describe the feeling of wanting to be somewhere else: “Fernweh.” There’s also “Weltschmerz,” the feeling of world weariness. Name an acute and specific state of being and there’s more than likely a German word for it. Maybe German linguists could invent one?
These phrases might work:
- Strafzettel Freude (Traffic Ticket Glee)
- Glückliche Geschwindigkeitsfalle (Happy Speed Trap)
- Selbstgefälliger Fahrer (Smug Driver)
- Sofortiges Karma (Instant Karma)
It’s not just speed trap-evaders that warrant some new vocabulary. Driving means being constantly confronted and confounded by behaviour that merits punishment. We need some new words to describe the burning frustration we feel.
Street racers, for instance, need a new moniker. “Street Racers” could have been a video game from the 1980s. The term street racer is far too kind. It implies that what street racing fools do on the road resembles automobile racing. It does not. Racing in IndyCar, Formula One, NASCAR, or any other top-level series requires extreme physical and mental dexterity, acute hand-eye coordination and catlike reflexes. Race drivers are rare individuals. They are confident, decisive competitors who exhibit the ability to dispassionately assess race conditions while reacting when an opportunity arises.
Street racers are not these track racers.
They lack the skill, courage, brains and vigour required to compete in a real race, but are unwilling to accept their shortcomings. They take to the roads and highways to play “vroom vroom.” For this brief moment, they are endangering lives by driving well above the speed limit and bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic.
We need a new name. Street racers doesn’t cut it.
Perhaps Weicheier für Straßenrennen (Street Racing Wimps)? It will do for now.