Australians who leave nasty notes on automobiles will now be fined up to AUD$1,100 ($943) for the privilege. A new rule states that “aggressive or offensive” notes may be considered “material potentially causing harassment, atrocious language or intolerance” and as such, subject to fine. Harassing memes and photos are also considered fine-worthy. The aim is to restore a semblance of order and good manners to Australian streets.
“This rule introduces much-needed accountability for maintaining decorum on the roads, deterring road users from engaging in aggressive or offensive behaviour,” International Drivers Association spokesperson Dominic Wyatt told news.com.au. ”If involved in a car incident, drivers can respectfully communicate with each other or report the incident to authorities without resorting to aggressive notes.”
What sort of notes are Aussies leaving? A driver who used a spot reserved for staff from the ANZ bank had their car covered in sheets of paper attached by duct tape. A driver who occupied four spots in a parking lot in the Perth suburb of Balcatta received seven missives. Among them were ones with so many swear words we can’t share them with you.
Should Canadian provinces follow suit? Should irate scribblers from Newfoundland to British Columbia be subject to financial penalty if they slap angry notes on unsuspecting motorists?
It could be a tough ask. Notes are a staple of North American automotive communication, as much a part of the daily ritual as drive-thrus, impotent in-vehicle screaming and traffic-induced panic attacks. They come in many forms. Some are passive-aggressive diagrams. Some are sarcastic, such the one I received a few years ago which read, “Thanks for taking 2 parking spots.” Some are outright profane as was the case in Western Australia.
Some teeter on extortion. A driver in San Francisco received a note from a reformed thief that read, “Hello, I apologize for leaving this note on your car. It’s better than breaking your window and stealing your s--- like I used to. I don’t want to steal anymore to pay the bills. So I stopped. But the bills didn’t. Is there any chance you’re able to help me out while I am figuring out a better way to live than “boosting”? You can Cash App me at $NoMoBoosting. Thank you very much. God bless.”
While perhaps admirable in spirit, the Australian fine poses some practical challenges. The majority of angry car notes are anonymous. “Leavers” sneak up and surreptitiously deposit them on windshields. How do you fine someone for leaving an anonymous note? No one knows who they are. The appeal of the angry car note is that the recipient has no idea who wrote it and is left to scratch their head in wonder. When I encounter bad parking I write a column. I have never left a note (I don’t write unless I’m paid) but I’m certain that I would never leave one that was full of swear words and then ended with, “best wishes, Andrew Clark.”
Given the anonymous nature of nasty car notes, won’t Australian traffic cops have to catch the writers in the act? The prospect of helping a transgressor get a hefty fine might lead wannabe detectives to reach for their mobile devices every time they see a person approaching an automobile with pen and paper in hand. Instead of decreasing acrimony, it might increase it, as angry note-leavers redirect their ire from offending automobiles to gotcha-happy videographers.
There are times when you must leave a note. If you damage someone’s car you must leave a note that contains your information. I can say, from firsthand experience, that these are not fun notes to write but they must be left. Not leaving one is immoral, not to mention against the law.
I must confess that Australia’s new legislation has sparked my curiosity. If people are willing to risk being penalized $1,000 for leaving an irate car note, it must be an exhilarating experience. Maybe I should start keeping pen, paper and tape in the glove compartment, just in case. Of course, I would not stoop to gutter-mouth profanity. My nasty car note would aspire to the eloquence of a more exalted age.
Something like, “Has Heaven no eye? Is all the lightning wasted?”
Or maybe, “Let my hid flames break out, as fire, to blast this villainous minivan occupying two spaces: vexed with sin. My wrongs are such I cannot justly be revenged too much.”
Duly noted.