Dear Happy Honker,
Many impatient drivers feel the act of not running over pedestrians is worthy of a prolonged angry honk.Sean Kilpatrick/The Canadian Press
Call me oversensitive, but I’m tired of drivers like you honking at me because I won’t run over pedestrians. I’m assuming that’s what you wanted when you put me on blast the other night at the corner of Bay St. and Dundas St.
You remember, right? I was driving north and turning right onto Dundas St. There were a lot of people crossing and as is often the case, some of the pedestrians crossed after the light had turned to red. As if on cue, you hit your horn as I waited for the pedestrians (among them a mother pushing a stroller) to finish crossing.
What did you want me to do? Run them over so you could complete your right turn four seconds earlier? That’s the only explanation I can find. Yours was not a polite tut-tut of the horn. No, it was an angry aria. What else could you have wanted? Did you expect me to turn my vehicle into a flying machine and levitate? I suppose you wanted me to “shoot the gap” between the mom and stroller and the other pedestrians?
I suppose you’d consider that worth the risk if it would shave a few seconds off your most important of journeys.
More Road Sage: I let you merge into my lane. Why did you give me the middle finger?
Why did you feel the act of not running over people worthy of a prolonged angry honk? Even the pedestrians looked confused. I swear one made eye contact and gave a bewildered look that said, “Is that guy doing what I think he’s doing?”
Your automotive tantrum was not the first time a happy honker has harassed me for failing to commit manslaughter. There are lots of drivers who view pedestrians as obstacles to be negotiated. Well, I’m not going to drive my car through a small opening in a stream of people engaged in the cardinal sin of walking on a public thoroughfare, just so you can execute your right turn sooner.
It’s at this point you’ll give me a well-worn sermon on the responsibilities of pedestrians. How dare they walk about our cities – alive – crossing a little after the light has changed. Don’t they know the risks? Back in your day they had Elmer the Elephant who kept kids safe and taught them the rules of the road.
Look, pedestrians (a.k.a. “people”) aren’t perfect. I’d love to write a column about some of their bad habits. The problem is that so many pedestrians are injured by automobiles (virtually daily) that there is never an appropriate time for me to write about them. You see, I’m supposed to be a “pleasant distraction” from such things. It’s so depressing that, after doing research, I often have to lie down with a pillow over my face and listen to the sublime Aaron Tveit’s version of “Sandy” from Grease Live on repeat for an hour. That’s right, it’s so depressing I need a “Tveit IV” stuck directly into my consciousness. You think I’m lying? Ask my wife. She’ll tell you – it’s an hour of Grease Live with a pillow on my face followed by me walking around the house singing “stranded at the drive-in” badly.
I could remind you of the law. I could remind you that, as Ontario’s Official Ministry of Transportation Handbook states, “At any intersection where you want to turn left or right, you must yield the right-of-way. If you are turning left, you must wait for approaching traffic to pass or turn and for pedestrians in or approaching your path to cross. If you are turning right, you must wait for pedestrians to cross if they are in or approaching your path.”
That drivers “must yield the right-of-way and wait for pedestrians to completely cross the road at pedestrian crossovers and school crossings with crossing guards.” I could point out that “signalling does not give you the right-of-way. You must make sure the way is clear.” That, “drivers, including cyclists, must stop and allow pedestrians to cross. Only when pedestrians and school crossing guards have crossed and are safely on the sidewalk can drivers and cyclists proceed.”
Details. Details. You’ve got places to go and a horn on your steering wheel just itching for a pressing.