I knew Brad Pitt and I had something in common. Like me, the 59-year-old two-time Academy Award winner and 1995 People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive is frustrated by slow-poke drivers who clog the passing lane. Pitt told W Magazine, “You know what my pet peeve – my Larry David moment – is? It’s when people are in the passing lane and they’re going as slow as everyone in the regular lanes. They block the whole thing, and you can’t get around. I gotta move. And when I feel trapped, I go all Larry David on ‘em. I try to be nicer these days. I might flick a bright. See if that gets anything. I might, like, move over into the rearview mirror a couple of times, see if that does anything.”
Maybe Brad Pitt’s statement, the statement of a world-famous Hollywood star, will finally tip the balance against left lane hogs. Could this be the moment sluggish drivers finally accept that it is dangerous, that they force faster drivers to bob and weave back and forth to pass? The more lane changes there are, the more chances for an accident. Will they embrace the reality that the left lane should be left open for passing, that vehicles moving slower than the normal speed of traffic must exile themselves to the right lane?
Could all my wildest hopes and dreams be coming true?
I’ve waited for this moment all my driving life. It has been my mission. It has been my obsession. Each year I have penned a column extolling drivers to keep the left lane clear for passing. I’ve tried begging, I’ve tried scolding, I’ve provided facts backing up the universal truth that a single person in the driver’s seat of a car travelling below the speed limit must not occupy the passing lane.
Provincial and state governments are constantly trying to discourage left lane hogs. Introduced on Feb. 7, Kentucky’s House Bill 105 will see anyone driving below the speed limit in the left lane fined. On Jan. 24, HB 421 was introduced into the Florida House of Representatives. It dictates that “on a road, street or highway having two or more lanes allowing movement in the same direction with a posted speed limit of at least 65 miles per hour, a driver may not continuously operate a motor vehicle in the furthermost left hand lane, except when overtaking and passing another vehicle, when preparing to exit the road, street or highway or when otherwise directed by an official traffic control device.”
British Columbia initiated “Keep Right, Let Others Pass” in 2015. On a highway with two or more lanes travelling in the same direction, “motorists are required to keep right and let others pass … Drivers failing to keep right may receive a fine of $167 traffic violation ticket that also carries three penalty points. Offences and infractions that include penalty points can lead to a driving prohibition.” Section 147 of the Ontario Highway Traffic Act clearly states that on a highway with more than two lanes running in the same direction, the slow traffic is to occupy the right lane.
Perhaps the Federal Government should get involved. I know highways are a provincial matter and do not fall under federal jurisdiction, but maybe Prime Minister Justin Trudeau could invoke a Bizarro-world version of the Notwithstanding Clause. This is Canada, after all. The law’s the law unless you don’t like the law and then you just do whatever you like. The prime minister could invoke the “We’re Notstandingfor Left Lane Hogs Clause.”
We could call this new legislation “Brad’s Law.”
According to Brad’s Law, motorists who do not keep right and let others pass would be fined $1,500, receive seven demerits, and be forced to write an email to Brad Pitt explaining why they think it’s okay to drive slow in the passing lane and go against the will of a two-time Oscar winner and dismay a man as talented and handsome as William Bradley Pitt. Remember, this is an actor who appeared in Fight Club where the first rule was don’t talk about fight club and he kept his mouth shut. Driving slow in the passing lane is such an abomination that he has broken his silence.
Our illustrious Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King once said, “I really believe my greatest service is in the many unwise steps I prevent.”
What’s more unwise and in need of prevention than left lane hogs? Politicians of Canada, hear my call. If you won’t do it for me – do it for Brad.