Cars sit submerged on the flooded Don Valley Parkway in Toronto after torrential rain caused the Don River to overflow at the Dundas Street bridge on July 16.Melissa Tait/The Globe and Mail
In a few short hours on Tuesday, Toronto was hit with about 100 millimetres of rain, the “fifth-rainiest day in Toronto’s recorded history.”
Flash floods washed away the commute, causing massive automobile damages. Cars floated on the Don Valley Parkway. Streets became rivers. Union Station closed. Drake’s mansion flooded. In the wake of such a dramatic event – one that hit drivers hard – articles will be published exploring the causes, investigating the insurance implications and reflecting insightfully on how such a disaster was mismanaged by government.
This is not one of those articles.
I do not dwell in the past. I look to the future. From where I sit, we have two options.
One. Placate Neptune, the god of fresh water and the sea. Only a deity as powerful as Neptune could cause such a storm. He went after Drake. Not once, in Canada’s history, have we celebrated the Neptunalia in July. The Romans held the festival during the driest month to encourage Neptune to bring rain. Recent downpours are obviously Neptune’s way of passive-aggressively soaking us for not honouring him.
Two. Create practical systems to deal with natural disasters. Have all levels of government collaborate and work with the private sector. Stop paving everything. Encourage citizens to build better and smarter to deal with water.
At present, No. 1 seems more likely.
But, first off, as both drivers and citizens, can we all agree how totally unprecedented this storm was?
No one had seen anything like it … except for in July 2013 when 126 millimetres was dumped on Toronto in 90 minutes, or in Alberta in 2013 when 26 neighbourhoods in the Calgary area were placed under a mandatory evacuation order as the Bow and Elbow rivers flooded communities or in Quebec last week when highways flooded or in British Columbia in 2021.
But other than that, totally unprecedented.
Surprising, perhaps, but politicians had something to blame. If you decided to play a drinking game on July 16 that involved downing a shot every time a politician said, “climate change,” you would have been buzzed after watching five minutes of post-flood Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow. She and other politicians spit those two words out like a slot machine paying off at Casino Rama. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was no slouch, saying, “With climate change, there are going to be more extreme weather events. So, we need to continue to step up in our fight against climate change.”
Climate change is real and may be the reason for the extreme weather; it is not an excuse for government inaction and lack of preparedness. It doesn’t explain why the Don Valley Parkway was not closed sooner to prevent commuters having their vehicles being submerged. It doesn’t explain why the city allowed every level of transit to virtually collapse.
It’s like me saying “Death” anytime someone asks me a question.
“Why didn’t you mow the lawn, Andrew?”
“Death.”
“What?”
“Death, we’re all going to die. Look it up. Fix death and I’ll get to the lawn.”
As I write, governments on every level are working to build “Action Plans” to combat the next wave of natural disasters. It’s important to understand that there are two kinds of environmental government action plans.
- Those that go nowhere
- Those that don’t go anywhere
Besides, they already exist. Critics have slammed the renaming of Yonge-Dundas Square to Sankofa Square (from the Akan tribe word in Ghana meaning “Go back and get it”) because it has little to do with Canadian society or history. Wrong. Post-flood it is entirely apt. Mayor Chow and Ontario Premier Doug Ford need to “Sankofa” the 530-page provincial report that was released in January 2023 (but not made public until August 2023). The Ontario Provincial Climate Change Impact Assessment found a need to revamp flooding strategy and flood hazard identification.
The assessment stresses “the need for collaboration, improved decision-making processes and policy coherence.” It advocates a “holistic One Water Approach, a management framework that could integrate drinking water, wastewater and stormwater into one entity, accounting for all water resources, at a river basin level, enhancing climate resilience, reducing existing vulnerabilities and strengthening Ontario’s water security.”
Sounds like something Neptune might say.
Let’s roll through the “probortunities” (opportunities disguised as problems) the recent torrential downpour created.
Flooded Cars Flood the Used Car Market: Look for written-off Ontario flood-damaged vehicles to start showing up for sale in places such as Saskatoon and Manitoba. Car grifters hide any information and engage in “title washing” by erasing a car’s history or by leaving any alarming facts off the sheet. If the price seems too good to be true and the car smells like a swamp, don’t buy it.
The Don River – Untapped Commuting Resource: Watching videos of cars floating on the DVP, it occurred to me: “People also float.” Let’s encourage commuters to float home from work on an inner tube on the Don River.
Turn Around Don’t Drown: Memorize this phrase. Sixty centimetres of water can float a 3,000-pound car. The San Antonio Fire Department made this video to warn drivers and pedestrians to never walk into flood waters. San Antonio is in a region of Texas known as “Flash Flood Alley.” If your car begins to submerge, they advise “stay calm and wait for the car to fill with water. Once the car is full, you’ll be able to open a door. Hold your breath and swim to the surface.”
There you have it. And one other thing:
Neptunalia happens this year on July 23. It’s not too late for Toronto and other water-logged Canadian cities to consider planning some festivities. Canadians could build huts out of leaves and branches, and eat, drink and enjoy themselves while seeking Neptune’s favour and appeasing his wrath.
Or we can grab our umbrellas and wait for the action plans.
My money’s on Neptune.