The Great North American Solar Eclipse will occur on April 8.Robert Michaud/The Canadian Press
Dear Future Inhabitants of Earth:
I am reporting to you from the Year 2024. As I write this, I have no way of knowing how the world looks in the future, how humanity is living, what problems plague it, what miracles delight it. I do know that life, in the future, just as it is today, must be a perplexing journey. I don’t know much but I know that if there are people in the future, there will be trouble. As the Latin poet Horace wrote, “Nil sine magno vita labore dedit mortalibus.” The prizes of life are never to be had without trouble. Of one fact I am certain, the future inhabitants are wondering, “How did we get here?”
That is why I am writing this message.
Current events have transpired that lead me to believe I can shed some light that may explain your current circumstances. On April 8, the Great North American Solar Eclipse will occur. According to CNN, “During a total solar eclipse, the moon completely blocks the face of the sun for a brief period known as totality — and 32 million people in the U.S. who are located along the 115-mile-wide (185-kilometer-wide) path of totality for April’s event will have a chance to enjoy this full expression of the celestial spectacle.” In Canada, much of central and eastern Canada “will be in the direct path of the total eclipse, while much of the rest of the country will experience a deep partial eclipse.”
Q+A: Where’s the best place to see next week’s eclipse, and how do I watch it safely?
Yet it is not this rare wonder I am writing about. I am writing about an even more staggering occurrence.
Days before the solar eclipse the media began running stories advising people not to watch the eclipse while driving. A USA Today piece declared, “The one thing you’ll want to do is the only thing not to do while driving during the solar eclipse” and CTV offered “Driving safety tips for solar eclipse: OPP.”
That’s right, future inhabitants of earth. The people of 2024 were so dependent on cars that when a rare once-in-a-lifetime total solar eclipse occurred, they went for a drive.
I’m going to parse through the advice, to illustrate just how rationally deficient people are in 2024. USA Today counselled people: “If you plan to drive during this time, you may not only have to contend with traffic…”
Wait a minute – “If you’re planning to drive…” You’re probably wondering what kind of people go for a drive right when a total solar eclipse is happening. Why not simply stand out in the open and watch it? Then go for a drive. Why drive right when it is happening?
Well, that’s 2024 for you.
Let’s assume that these drivers have something important to do. Fair enough. And yet, it was deemed necessary to warn them not to look at the solar eclipse while driving. A spokesman from the American Automobile Association (AAA) cautioned, “Anyone operating a vehicle should not be attempting to look up at the sky during the eclipse – their eyes should be on the road.”
In other words, Remember, when driving during that solar eclipse that you were too busy to stop and watch, not to try and watch it while driving.
People of the future, in the weeks leading up to the Great North American Solar Eclipse, there were many articles listing the best ways and locations to watch it. Niagara Falls was one of the best. No where in any of these articles was “Inside your car through its solid roof while driving” listed as a best way or location.
You might wonder, “Why not just find a parking lot? Park, get out, watch and then go on?”
It was 2024 and we were too busy.
In 2024, it was dangerous to look directly at the sun except during the brief “totality” phase. Observers wore special-purpose solar filter “eclipse glasses” which block harmful infrared and ultraviolet lights but also eliminate almost all visible light. It was a safe and simple way to watch the total solar eclipse.
Not so fast.
“It should go without saying,” warned USA Today, “but don’t drive while wearing eclipse glasses.”
It should go without saying, but you just said it.
“Authorities are also reminding people to not drive while wearing eclipse glasses. The Missouri and Texas departments of transportation are both advising drivers to not wear eclipse glasses during the natural phenomenon and to focus on the road.”
In other words, don’t wear the eclipse glasses you bought to watch the eclipse that you are too busy to watch because you have to drive somewhere, while driving.
Future Inhabitants of Earth, I don’t know how things are in the future. But this is where we are in 2024. If things are great in the future, terrific. If they are bad, at least now you know where it may have started.
From eclipse glasses to pinhole projection, Globe science reporter Ivan Semeniuk explains what parents need to know to enjoy the stellar event with their kids. The eclipse is April 8 and will be visible from a large swath of eastern Canada.
The Globe and Mail