A baby, a new home, a breakup: These Thanksgiving ‘firsts’ created new traditions for Canadians

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Thanksgiving is all about traditions. Family and friends gather every year, decorative gourds trim the table and the same dishes are prepared the same way. Even swapping a beloved side dish can be grounds for intense debate.

There is a certain comfort to celebrating the change of seasons with these rituals. But sometimes a life change comes along – a baby, a pandemic, a new home, the start or end of a relationship – that upends the celebrations. These changes offer the chance for new traditions to be woven into family lore and passed along from generation to generation.

We asked Globe readers about their Thanksgiving firsts and how those new experiences unfolded. Here are some of their stories.

The first time cooking a turkey as a single, divorced man

A few years ago, I found myself faced with cooking a Thanksgiving turkey for family and friends in my new home. Being a single, divorced man I was determined to show everyone that I could handle preparing a large meal for six to eight people.

I remember waking up on Thanksgiving morning thinking that maybe I should have taken the turkey out of the freezer. I phoned my dad and asked how long the turkey needs to defrost before cooking. I was shocked when I found out it would take days to thaw in the fridge. It was a holiday and I couldn’t go out and buy a fresh turkey.

Once my panic settled into deep worry, I dug the frozen beast out and put it on the counter. It was big. What should I do?

I had just purchased a new microwave oven and the “thaw” button was staring me in the face. It was a nice big oven, though the turkey was just a bit bigger. But maybe! I struggled and worked at it, and within 15 minutes I managed to get it all in. Then using all my weight, expecting the hinges to break at any time, I finally closed the door and set it on thaw.

After what seemed like an appropriate amount of time, I extricated the turkey. But it was square! As it thawed it must have filled every corner of the microwave. Frankly, never having cooked a turkey before, I couldn’t tell which side was up. Who cares? In the oven she went.

When it was finally ready I discovered it had been cooked upside down. But it was delicious, and I later read an article that said this was the way to cook it for a really tender turkey. I was quite pleased with myself for being at the forefront of this new cooking trend.

– Tony Chisholm, 79, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ont.

The first time cooking a turkey in an Instant Pot in a camper van

In 2021, we converted a Mercedes Sprinter 170 van into a camper and have since taken it across the country twice. That year we decided to spend Thanksgiving in Killarney Provincial Park in Ontario to hike, boat and enjoy the beautiful fall colours. It’s important for us to continue traditions even while we’re travelling in the van – and having a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving weekend is one of our traditions we did not want to break.

Since we did not have an oven in the van, we brought our Instant Pot along with us to try to make a Thanksgiving meal. We found the smallest turkey possible at the grocery store, and even then it barely fit in the pot. But after a few hours, we enjoyed a delicious meal of stuffing, veggies and a fully cooked nine-pound turkey, eaten while surrounded by the fall colours outside our van with our pup, Keno. We cannot wait to do something again in the van for Thanksgiving.

– Nicole and Chris Alexander, 32, Pefferlaw, Ont.

The first time I became a parent

My daughter was born on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend in 2018. My husband and I had tried for years to have a baby, going through various painful and disruptive medical treatments before finally settling on adoption.

We waited years to be matched with a birth parent with no luck, and were even discussing giving up. Then I got a phone call. I almost didn’t answer because I didn’t recognize the number. I am glad I did though, because it was our social worker with news that a baby had been born and we had been chosen. I cancelled our family dinner with the in-laws and, in an effort to reach my husband, called everyone he worked with to try to get him to call me back. I was too emotional and had to have a neighbour drive me to the hospital to meet the person for whom my husband and I are most thankful. We now celebrate a birthday along with our turkey dinner.

– Jennifer Goodlad, 40, Calgary

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The first time celebrating Thanksgiving as a Canadian

My family arrived in Canada as Tamil refugees from Sri Lanka when I was four years old. I’m the oldest of my generation and I have almost 200 family members in Toronto.

As the first to go to school in Canada, I learned about this thing called Thanksgiving where families are supposed to cook turkey. I told my parents that’s what we were supposed to do, so my mom learned to cook turkey. I don’t remember her specific reaction when I told her, but I can imagine it would have been a leap for her since turkey and stuffing is not on the menu in Tamil cuisine. Now, though, my mom’s stuffing is to die for because she throws some spice in the mix.

It was one of those rare moments when I asked my parents for something and they immediately obliged. Looking back, I feel they did this as an excuse to have our refugee family members gather, and to help me adjust by taking part in these Canadian traditions.

That first Thanksgiving, we hosted some 30 people in our apartment in Scarborough. Ever since, our home became Thanksgiving central for the whole family. As more family members arrived in Canada and we moved into a house, about 150 people would come through. My mom and aunties would prepare a feast with multiple turkeys and traditional Tamil dishes, with tents set up in the backyard and gigantic bottles of Johnnie Walker Black Label poured out.

The tradition ended recently after the youngest in our families married into new families, making it logistically difficult. But my wife, kids and I still go to my parents’ house every year.

– Radheyan Simonpillai, 41, Toronto (Simonpillai is a regular Globe contributor)

The first time I cooked an all-vegan harvest feast

I think for a lot of Canadians, Thanksgiving is about plentiful garden harvests. At least in Nova Scotia, we’re still picking the last tomatoes off the vine and squashes are ready to roll. I became a vegan around 10 years ago, and that year my friend Marianne and I hosted Friendsgiving. I had just started a job as a chef at a vegan restaurant and we were both passionate about being newly vegan.

We made mushroom-walnut meatballs, caramelized onion gravy, roasted pumpkin soup with pumpkins from the garden, kale salad and jackfruit and squash pie. It was a small kitchen, and every surface was covered. It was all about using up what we grew in our gardens.

I’m from a little town called Mount Uniacke, about 30 minutes from Halifax. My mom had passed away and this was the first year without her, so I moved in with my dad for a couple years to be close to family. My mom brought people together. I’ve tried to fill those shoes, to keep everyone together.

We’ve had a vegan Friendsgiving ever since, but now we serve Thanksgiving poutine and assign dishes for people to bring. Around 30 people come to the house. We use one of those big turkey deep fryers to cook French fries outside, and others bring the gravy, the stuffing, the cranberry sauce. It’s different, simpler, but by then most people have already eaten two Thanksgiving dinners.

– Lauren Marshall, 37, Halifax

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The first time we hosted Thanksgiving dinner in the pandemic

It was our first pandemic Thanksgiving, in 2020. We discussed hosting a gathering with our children, but outside. They respected our concern and, with us being a little “elderly,” quickly consented to the idea.

We checked the weather forecast to see which day of the weekend would be best for the family celebration. There would be 12 of us: our three children, their partners and our four granddaughters.

The day we picked saw buckets of rain falling all afternoon. We spread a tarp over the dining table, set up a large garden umbrella over a small gas portable fire and opened the doors to the storage shed, where my son and his wife sat. Pushing on the tarp was constantly required to remove the large pool of water that accumulated on top. But dinner was served, marshmallows roasted over the fire and Coronas drank. It was a fabulous family gathering and Thanksgiving to remember.

– Brian McHugh, 75, Richmond, B.C.

The first family Thanksgiving in a tiny vacation rental

Our first Thanksgiving away from home would shape our holiday tradition for the foreseeable future. My family moved to Vancouver Island from the Rockies in May, 2007, and we were so busy with jobs and ensuring the kids were surviving the move that Thanksgiving wasn’t on my radar.

My husband thought a getaway would be a good break from the hubbub and managed to book a vacation rental in Ucluelet on Vancouver Island for Thanksgiving weekend. It was a tiny one-bedroom (with only a table for two!) for my husband and I, our two kids and three dogs.

A two-burner hot plate and barbecue were the only kitchen amenities I could use to prepare a dinner that had to include turkey. It took some thought and no small amount of effort, since I had never tried it before, but I successfully made a stuffed turkey breast roll that was frozen for the four-hour drive. The sides were primitive (potatoes, mixed vegetables and gravy mix), but it didn’t matter. We were starving after a long day of beach walks with the dogs.

Cramped quarters and wet dogs added to the perfume of that first Thanksgiving meal, but it started a tradition of gathering our small family, plus partners and friends, to make the pilgrimage to celebrate what’s become our most memorable holiday of the year. And now we rent a larger house near Tofino, so no one needs to sleep on the floor with a dog or two.

– Carol S., Vancouver Island

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The first time I hosted Friendsgiving

The first time I cooked a whole turkey myself was for a Friendsgiving dinner in 2015. I learned the hard way that my apartment-sized oven wasn’t large enough to accommodate a turkey that could feed 15 people. By the time I was picking the bird up from the butcher I knew what needed to be done: I’d cook it at my grandma’s, as she lived downstairs.

I had warned my grandma ahead of time that I may need to use her oven. And that I’d likely need a team of friends to help me carry the turkey up and down the stairs, which I did. She was also well aware of my penchant for leaving everything to the last minute when it comes to entertaining.

I made the turkey and stuffing, and everyone else brought snacks, sides and desserts. The huge table was fully covered in food.

– Piper MacFadyen, 34, Toronto

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