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I love giving gifts. I love the hunt, I love playing off a cue the recipient dropped months ago and forgot having even said it, I love watching them open the gift and being surprised by something unexpected. I don’t find this kind of shopping stressful; it’s fun for me, like a puzzle with a very gratifying end for both me and the person I’m giving to.
This applies to my work as the Globe’s Lifestyle Editor as well. I love learning about new trends, visiting independent shops and finding local makers, and being able to share this with our readers. (Our holiday gift guide, which was published a couple weeks ago, features entirely local makers and brands.)
Three years ago, however, through an organization called Holiday Helpers, I started doing holiday shopping that fulfilled needs versus wants, and found it stressful. The organization pairs low-income families with donors who, working within a budget, make sure their families have what they need to get through the winter (new jackets, mitts, boots), as well as a few household essentials (linens, kitchen ware) and a couple Christmas gifts. The latter is easy; the rest not so much.
For the past few years I’ve sponsored different family units comprised of a single parent and child. I’m told very little about them, only that they’re new to Canada and their spouse has recently died, or that they’ve recently escaped a domestic violence situation, and given their shopping list. Each time, I’ve had to decide whether to get them bedding or drinking glasses, diapers or a kettle, while ensuring I get them winter outerwear essentials as well and remain within budget. How do you make decisions like that? These families have to do it all the time.
I’ve never stayed within budget for any family I’ve sponsored. But I have that ability, and through this exercise I’m reminded that so many do not. On Christmas morning three years ago, my own family and I were about to start opening our gifts when I realized that the mom and kiddo who I had sponsored would be doing the same. It was a powerful moment, knowing that, with a bit of time and money, I had been able to make their year a little easier.
There’s been much written about the state of charity this year. The Ontario Nonprofit Network released a study this spring that stated almost 75 per cent of respondents have seen fundraising revenue drop. A joint survey by ONN and Assemblée de la francophonie de l’Ontario in August revealed that one in five nonprofits in Ontario could close within the next six months. This is a reality The Globe is taking a deep dive into this weekend, with pieces across the Saturday paper looking at the strain charities are under, even as the pandemic has created a need like never before.
And while many charities are seeing donations plummet, there are signs people are willing to give, specifically when it comes to helping people affected by COVID-19. In this Vox story by Sigal Samuel, which looks at the pandemic’s effect on generosity, Victoria Vrana, a deputy director at the Gates Foundation, says the organization has seen a new trend toward “directly giving to individuals.”
It’s this kind of giving that I find most rewarding. No surprise given that Laurie Santos, the Yale professor who teaches the school’s famed Science of Well-Being course, says that random acts of kindness and helping others contributes to positive well-being
And so, knowing the impact of that once-a-year gift through Holiday Helpers, I got involved in similar opportunities this year, namely the Friendly Neighbour Hotline, launched by the University Health Network’s OpenLab, a service in which vulnerable seniors, many in community housing, place grocery orders and have a volunteer shop for them and deliver the goods.
I’ve delivered groceries to dozens of seniors since April. All of them are grateful, many chatty – after weeks of being socially isolated, they are happy to have some interaction, however fleeting – and again, what for me is a small gesture is for them a considerable help. (Little do they know, they have helped me by giving me a reason to get out of my condo.)
In Samuel’s Vox piece, she reports on work from Athena Aktipis, a psychologist at Arizona State University, who does research with the Human Generosity Project and is part of an initiative called Cooperation in the Apocalypse, which is examining cooperation during the pandemic. Samuel writes: “As the pandemic spread, [Aktipis’s team] found that people increasingly agreed with statements like ‘My neighborhood and I rise and fall together’ and ‘All of humanity and I rise and fall together.’”
If we have learned anything this year it’s that we are all connected, in ways we never could have imagined. My helping these people may have put them in a position to help someone else. We all rise together.
What else we’re thinking about:
Lately, I’m thinking a lot about what Masai Ujiri is thinking about. The NBA Bubble was a highlight of the summer for me, despite the round two exit of my beloved Raptors. And soon, a new season starts (the Raptors first preseason game is on my birthday, thank you, Adam Silver!). Toronto’s two big men, Serge Ibaka and Marc Gasol, are gone. What does Ujiri have up his sleeve? Whatever it is, after reading Nick Nurse’s Rapture: Fifteen Teams, Four Countries, One NBA Championship, and How to Find a Way to Win – Damn Near Anywhere, I know coach can work with whatever he’s given. Nurse’s book is a tribute to having faith in the journey, and to making the most of what you have.
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