Negativity is not all negative – it saved our ancestors from sabre-toothed tigers and today can still insulate us from danger – but it’s wise to view negativity negatively.
Consultant Anthony Iannarino suggests you consider a negativity fast to shield yourself from its dampening effect and increase your productivity and boost success.
He notes that negativity is wired into us, through its evolutionary value over the millennia. Biological, psychological and sociological factors encourage negativity. Failing to take care of yourself can lead to stress and negativity. The acceleration of change has made people more pessimistic, critical and in some cases enraged. Difficult people can drive us nuts.
But he adds in The Negativity Fast that “our time on Earth is short, and you don’t want to waste it being negative. Negativity can harm your mental health, your physical health and your relationships with others.”
To understand and contain your negativity – the self talk, complaining and outside factors like social media and political events that stir you up – he recommends a three-month fast.
“Over the course of 90 days, focus on eliminating as many sources of negativity as possible. Replace it with something positive. Don’t overthink it; just avoid negativity however it shows up in your world. We can often be the biggest sources of negativity for ourselves, so don’t forget to look at your own behaviours, thought patterns and habits. Most of all, remember that your beliefs cause your negativity, not the precipitating event,” he writes.
Start by creating a trigger list of the sources of negativity in your life. Wait until the end to include the people in your life, no matter how irritating. With each item on the list include a note about how you will try to avoid being exposed to it.
In his case, he realized he wasn’t going to change other people’s political views, so he would avoid the most bothersome, and with others step out of the conversation. A useful protective statement was: “I am not up to speed on this issue and thanks for sharing with me,” before walking away. He also steered away from morning TV shows with people discussing political events, and recommends pruning or eliminating news for the 90 days. Deal with transportation inconveniences by finding things that will be valuable when stuck in traffic.
Work, he notes, often comes with conflict. You may not be able to avoid the tasks, situations and people that trigger your negativity. Do your best to limit your exposure, particularly to the most difficult people at your workplace. “In a meeting, draw a happy face on your legal pad and write down anything someone says that is negative and, after the meeting, cross it out,” he suggests.
Be open-minded about the contribution of people to your negativity. He urges you to remember that you trigger people, just as they trigger you. He warns that you trigger yourself when you assign motivations to people without knowing or understanding the reason they did something that inconvenienced you (or worse). “It’s important to go back and remind yourself that the activating event is not the reason you were triggered. Your belief about the event and what it means is triggering you,” he writes.
On his first negativity fast he made a huge mistake. He focused on eliminating negatives but now realizes it’s also vital to replace them with positive things. He recommends listing sources of positivity and joy you might inject into your life. In particular, he points to audiobooks you might listen to from motivational and positivity experts, while driving or taking a break.
He recommends keeping a journal and writing down incidents of negativity, to help deal with them in the future, as well as times when you were positive, optimistic and empowered, so those don’t disappear without notice. “Remember, you are allowed to be negative. The goal isn’t to never be negative or experience a foul mood. The goal is to be less negative and more positive most of the time,” he stresses.
Quick hits
- Executive coach Joel Garfinkle says you should resolve to choose your attitude for the New Year: Make the New Year one of optimism, gratitude, focus, energy. The turn of the year, he adds, is a good time to update your LinkedIn profile.
- Consultant Nick Morgan warns building a successful career takes a long time, even in an era of milliseconds and nano-opportunities: “Where you start is not necessarily where you end up, and trusting in yourself means taking unexpected turns and finding new places to explore. If you can develop a sense of organic growth you’ll be much happier and more grounded as your career inevitably has its ups and downs.”
- You are not the cause of everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to everything that happens to you, notes author James Clear.
- When asked what his favourite composition was, jazz great Duke Ellington said, “the next one.” Entrepreneur Seth Godin says when we’re in the transitional space between now and what is about to come, we’re fully alive.
Harvey Schachter is a Kingston-based writer specializing in management issues. He, along with Sheelagh Whittaker, former CEO of both EDS Canada and Cancom, are the authors of When Harvey Didn’t Meet Sheelagh: Emails on Leadership.