Halloween and its attendant parties present a yearly dilemma: dress up and risk looking utterly foolish, or refuse to dress up and then look utterly foolish when everyone else is sporting a designer costume.
Our guide to the city's best Halloween events won't help you solve that problem, but it will tell you where to take the kids, how to outfit the family dog, and where to find the hot parties, events where wearing a mask won't get you kicked out or arrested. Just don't forget the immortal advice found in the Lindsay Lohan movie Mean Girls -- "Halloween is the one day of the year when you can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything." If worst comes to worst, tape two triangles to the top of your head and tell people you're a cat.
PARTYGOING
Sinners & Saints. Eat, drink and be scary -- and it's all for a good cause. Tonight the Hearing Foundation of Canada hosts its third annual bash, subtitled A Party in the Garden of Good and Evil. Fifty dollars gets you a free drink, snacks -- hors d'oeuvre, oysters, sushi and sandwiches at midnight -- and a loot bag full of treats. Get a reading from the on-site psychic or handwriting analyst. Costumes are optional but there are prizes for the best outfits. Tickets are available at the door. The Church at Berkeley, 315 Queen St. E., 416-364-4060 ext. 27.
Autumnal Cabinet of Wonders Soiree. Art, music and magic, oh my. The Royal Sarcophagus Society, a collective of performance and visual artists, puts on its annual soiree tonight at 8. Performers include harpist Sarah Featherstone and vocalist/cellist Diana Obscura. There will also be local artisans displaying jewellery and other wares, vegan-friendly hors d'oeuvre, pumpkin martinis and tarot, palm and tea-leaf readers. The Great Hall, 1087 Queen St. W., .
FOR KIDS
It's Halloween, Boo! Solar Stage Theatre presents a light-hearted Halloween puppet show for children ages four to 10 on Saturday and Sunday at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Written, produced and directed by Tom Vandenberg, formerly a puppeteer on Fraggle Rock, the show features a teddy bear who has trouble conjuring up a scary costume for Halloween. Tickets are $13. Call ahead to check on availability. 4950 Yonge St., 416-368-8031.
Casa Loma's Haunted Castle. The former home of Canadian financier Sir Henry Pellatt turns into a Halloween funhouse this weekend. Be sure to catch one of the Mad Scientist's four shows, but be careful about drinking the potions he brews. Also check out the Count Jugular shows, the Spooky Attic, the Dragon's Lair and the Magic Mirror. $12 for adults; $6.75 for kids ages 4 to 13. 1 Austin Terrace, 416-923-1171.
Screemers. Canada's premiere scream park has relocated to a bigger venue to accommodate an expanded lineup of attractions. All of them are variations on the ghoulish theme: the Carnival of Bad Dreams in 3-D, the Haunted House, the Black Hole, the Maniac Maze, the Castle of Doom and the Asylum. If you're jonesing for a different type of fright fix, try one of the park's six carnival rides. Tonight through Sunday. $27.95. Exhibition Place, Lake Shore Boulevard, 416-979-FEAR.
FOR FIDO
Dogs in the City Halloween Party. Now your favourite pooch can get in on the night's festivities. Dogs in the City, a pet boutique and spa in north Toronto, is hosting two parties on Sunday for dog owners and their four-legged companions. Events include a best-costume and best-trick contest as well as a special Halloween makeover session. Each party will have about 15 participants; call ahead to make a reservation. 2717 Yonge St., 416-322-3288.
HISTORY NEVER DIES
The Ghosts of the University of Toronto Tour. Finals aren't the only scary thing at U of T. Take a tour to learn about the spooks that haunt the buildings of Canada's largest university. The ghost tour, which starts at 10 p.m., begins at the Royal Ontario Museum, reportedly haunted by its first curator, and finishes at the Legislative Assembly at Queen's Park -- or, as it was known for most of the 1800s, the University Asylum for the Insane. Spaces are limited so call ahead to reserve a spot; and 416-487-9017.
Ghost Tour of the Elgin and Winter Garden Theatre. Join one of two tours of these historic theatres on Halloween night and you may be rewarded with the sight of one of the ghostly apparitions that haunt the 90-year-old building. There's the Lavender Lady, who leaves behind a memorable scent, and Sam, the trombone player who fell to his death in the 1920s. Tickets for the 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. shows may be purchased at the door on Halloween night, a half-hour before tour times. Admission: $10 for adults; $7 for students and seniors; $5 for children (suitable for children 6 years of age and older). 189 Yonge St., 416-314-2871.
READINGS THAT KILL
Haunted Masters. Playwright Gene Franklin Smith's Haunted Masters is a series of four one-act plays culled from ghost tales by Henry James, D. H. Lawrence, Edith Wharton and Charles Dickens. The special Sunday Halloween show costs $40 and includes hors d'oeuvre and wine during intermission. Shows on Friday and Saturday are $25. 285 Spadina Rd. (free parking in Casa Loma lot), 647-436-1519.
Itch Reading Series. Crime-fiction writer John Worsley Simpson is the featured author for the 7 p.m. reading on Halloween. Itch plans to hand out candy, loot bags and prizes from Mercury Press. Gladstone Hotel Bar, 1214 Queen St. W., .