Burdens lifted, one confession at a time

It is spring, the season of new life, renewal, and hope (except for those who play professional hockey in Toronto or Ottawa, who know it as "the season of golf"). In some religious traditions, early spring coincides with a period of repentance - a time for cleansing the soul.

There's a lot of that going on. In business, 2009 may become known as The Year of the Confession. CNBC wild man Jim Cramer admits to Jon Stewart that his television network did too much cheerleading and too little genuine reporting. Warren Buffett tells his shareholders he did "dumb things" with their money. General Motors' new boss concedes the place is so messed up that bankruptcy may be unavoidable. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein admits Wall Street investment bankers did so much damage that "the loss of public confidence from failing to live up to the expectations that we created will take years to rebuild."

And that's just in the past six weeks.

"A confession has to be part of your new life," wrote Ludwig Wittgenstein, an Austrian philosopher, in the early years of the Great Depression, and who could argue? An honest confession lightens the spirit. It lifts a burden from the confessor. In fact, we can think of a few others who would benefit from the example of Messrs. Cramer, Buffett and Blankfein. The truth shall set them free.

Jim Flaherty, Finance Minister: We're unlikely to balance the budget in five years as I've said we will. Cutting the GST was a lousy idea. But I also know it's likely to be some other Finance Minister's problem.

Many hedge fund managers: We told our clients we deserve big bucks to find the best money-making ideas. But we've still never found one as good as betting their money with leverage and taking 20 per cent of the profit.

Rob Prichard, Torstar: It's probably not right that I get almost $10-million for quitting my job after presiding over the loss of so much shareholder value.

Jerry Yang, Yahoo: My brain was in another era when I told Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer to go jump off the Space Needle. I didn't have any better ideas and my stubbornness has cost more than $25-billion (U.S.). So far.

Timothy Geithner, U.S. Treasury Secretary: I need some help!

Jeffrey Orr, Power Financial: Spending several billion to buy a busted American mutual fund company isn't the wisest thing I've ever done.

Jeffrey Immelt, General Electric: You know how GE used to always hit its profit targets, no matter what? Here's the secret to that magic: We were using GE Capital to manage the numbers. Now we can't.

Stephen Harper, Prime Minister: I've known for eons that the employment insurance system was unfair and badly designed. But since we did nothing about it during the good times, the government's too strapped to fix it now that 400,000 more people need it.

Bernard Madoff, Metropolitan Correctional Centre, New York: I hid the money in [INSERT NAME OF OFFSHORE BANKING CENTRE]

Calin Rovinescu, Air Canada: I worry that I'm going to regret taking this job. Also, our in-flight sandwiches are crap.

Jack Layton, NDP leader:

I can't wait for the recession to end. It's exposing how few useful ideas I have on the economy.

Leonard Asper, CanWest Global: When I spent a pile to buy Alliance Atlantis, I really should have decided right then to sell what we own in Australia to pay down the debt. Because I didn't, our fate is in our lenders' hands.

Marc Tellier, Yellow Pages: We were aggressive and too convinced of our own immunity to the recession in print advertising. And that's why we have too much debt, though not as much as Lenny Asper, thank God.

Michael Ignatieff, Liberal leader: I looked like a turkey when I claimed the federal stimulus package was "not working," the week after it was introduced. Also, when I have insomnia, I secretly listen to tapes of Ralph Goodale speeches.

Konrad von Finckenstein, CRTC: Remember last year, when we said conventional broadcasters were doing just fine and didn't need new fees from the cable companies? That may have been hasty.

Don Lindsay, Teck Cominco: During the mining boom, I believed too much hype.

Business journalists: During the credit boom, we believed too much hype.

Central bankers everywhere: We're making it up as we go.

ddecloet@globeandmail.com