How do I properly set the table for a formal dinner?

My mother believed that good table manners and setting the table properly were essential to one's upbringing. She used to say, "You never know when you might eat with the Queen."

Most of us won't ever dine with royalty, but setting a proper table does add a regal touch to a dinner party. It also makes it that much easier to pick out the correct fork and knife, and avoid the potential embarrassment of reaching for the wrong one. A properly set table provides a structure to help people have a good time.

Here are a few simple rules that will help you set the perfect table:

Generally speaking, knives and spoons are placed to the right of the plate, while forks are to the left. Work from the outside of the place setting to the inside. In other words, if your first course is soup, then the first piece of cutlery, the one farthest from the plate on the right-hand side, is the soup spoon.

Follow with the fish knife and fork if you happen to have a fish course and own the right cutlery. Next come the meat knife and fork, and finally the dessert spoon and fork on the inside. (If you're following the English style, the dessert cutlery will be at the top of the place setting, parallel with the table edge.) If there is a salad course, then a smaller knife and fork are provided, but the placement will depend on whether you have the salad first or after the main.

If you run out of cutlery, wash it quickly and replace.

Wine glasses are placed over the knife, with water glasses to the left of the wine glasses.

I never use a bread and butter side plate, because it takes up too much room, but if you choose to, it goes to the left beside the fork. Butter knives go on the bread plate. Napkins go between the knives and forks where the dinner plate will be placed or on the side plate.

And I think charger plates are very formal and out of style, but if you use them, they sit on the table for the soup and app courses and are removed for the main course.

Open salts are best. I put Maldon salt in a small dish and let guests take a pinch with their fingers, French style. (Salt tarnishes silver spoons, which is why old salt spoons were gold.) For pepper, a small mill is preferable.

Candles, votives and flowers are optional, but remember to keep centrepieces low so people can see each other across the table.

And cellphones are left in another room.

Need some advice about kitchen life or have an entertaining quandary that needs solving? Send your questions to lwaverman@globeandmail.com.